TATTOOS ON MY MIND

chapter one

She plays with the ring on her left hand, memories of the wedding flashing through her mind. She sighs loudly, looking at the old man in front of her who's looking back at her with a skeptical look. She shifts awkwardly under his gaze, rubbing her hands up and down the leather chair. "You know," she starts, smiling a little. "I'm starting to remember the best sex of my life. It's like a blurred photo in my mind, but it's still there. I remember it," she adds.

"Who did you do it with?" he asks quietly.

"Taylor, my wife," she answers. "It was the first night of our honeymoon and she was...so beautiful and gorgeous and sexy. I swear it was the best night of my life, but I can't remember it. I can't fucking remember it because -- it's like the alcool in my system is slowly destroying all of my memories of her and I together and -- I don't know how to feel about it,"

He writes down something on his paper, and he looks up to her. "Then, why don't you stop drinking?" he asks, as if the answer was obvious.

"I can't," she replies ashamed.

"You can't or you don't want to?"

There's a thick silence in the room, and after a while, she scoffs. "It's not my fault! It's her fault if I started drinking tequila or whiskey! She slept with someone! She got pregnant! She made our relationship difficult by cheating on me when we were not in good terms!" she exclaims, and she's surprised herself by the outburst, but Danny doesn't seem affected by it. "It's her fault," she adds quietly, sighing and crossing defensively her arms around her chest.

"No, it's not," Danny says, now standing up and walking around the room.

"It is," Karlie stated.

"Why did you come here?" he asks calmly. She laughs humoroless and she slams her hands against her thighs. She shakes desperately her head, and she bites hard her bottom lip.

"Taylor obliged me. I didn't want to come here," she replies annoyed.

"I'm going to tell you something," he says, walking calmly and towards the now standing girl. Karlie puts on her coat, scoffing. "You know what you have to do. You know that you have to stop drinking, even if it's difficult, but it will be worth it, Karlie. You know what you have to do, you just don't want to,"

Karlie opens the door, and as she exits the room, she sighs, "See you soon, Danny."

******

She slams the door wide open, as she gulps down the tequila, tilting her head back. She goes to the living room, placing her hand on the arm chair, her head spinning.

"You're finally home,"

She turns around, standing to her full height quickly, and she hides the bottle of tequila behind her back. Taylor stands at the door with her arms crossed and a exhausted look on her eyes. The blond sighs as she makes her way to the drunk girl.

"Isobel is sleeping," she says. She doesn't help Karlie steady herself, she just stands in front of her. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

Karlie swallows and she purses her lips. "Yes, I am," she replies. Taylor looks away quickly, her lips forming a thin line, and she shakes her head. "I'm sorry, babe, but I --"

"No," Taylor laughs incredulous, lifting her arms up in the air. "Don't tell me that shit again, Karlie, because I'm sick of it!" she says in a whisper, trying to calm herself down. After all, their daughter was asleep just a few feet away, and they could have woke her up.

"You are sick of it?! You?! Didn't you ask yourself why I started drinking?! No?! Then, I'll tell you that this is not my fault! I didn't start drinking by choice, you made me do it! It was you! Not me, you! I started drinking because you cheated on me and you told me that you were pregnant. I started drinking because that girl who's sleeping in the other room is not my daughter,"

"Stop, you are drunk," Taylor interrupts her.

"Yeah, of course! It's been years that I have been drunk, but I don't care, because you didn't even apologize!" she exclaims.

"I'm sorry, Karlie, I'm sorry!" Taylor exclaims. Karlie's voice was rising higher and higher, and she's sure that by now Isobel is awake.

"No, you're not," Karlie shakes her head, biting her lip. Taylor lets a tear stream down her right cheek, and she purses her lips tightly.

"Mommy?"

Taylor wipes her tears, and she turns around to look lovingly at the little nine years old girl. "Come here," she coos, motioning to her to come nearer. Isobel looks at Karlie with a scared look, and when she looks back at Taylor she shakes her head. The blond, understanding that there was something wrong, she looks at her wife, disgusted.

"Isobel, go to bed, I will come in a second," she says softly to her daughter. Isobel nods quickly, and she runs back to her room.

"You'll sleep on the couch tonight," Taylor murmurs. "Again," she adds as an afterthought. The blond's back is facing the taller girl, and she doesn't know what to do with herself.

"Taylor I--"

She's soon interrupted by Taylor's lips pressing roughly on her own, and her back is against the wall. The taller girl cups her face sweetly, and brings her closer. Taylor's hands are on each of her side, rubbing them up and down. Karlie moans quietly when she feels Taylor's hot tongue enter her mouth, but their make out session is soon interrupted by Taylor pushing her away.

She's breathless, they both are. "I love you Karlie," her voice is above a whisper, and her eyes are locked on the floor. "Please, you have to stop drinking. I'm sorry for what I've done to you in the past, but please, you have to stop. Do it for you, do it for me, do it for us, but please, just do it," she adds.

Karlie sighs quietly, and as she nods her head slowly, she says, "I'll try."