Obama x Putin x John Cena x Shia LaBeouf

The Legacy of Dank

Shia awoke, bright and early as usual. He closed his eyes again, just for a second, appreciated the warmth of Cena's chest he had his head lying on all night, and got up. He dawned his 4/20 blaze it apron and made his way into the kitchen. The two of them had been living in their hut for quite a while, losing their fear of the government searching for them with each passing day. The Island of Forgotten Memes had been growing in population, and the queens of the island worried they would have to risk being found by stretching their territory onto nearby land. Shia made a few batches of cookies and filled a little Dorothy-esq basket to bring to the other huts. The warm air and smell of chocolate woke up John, and he walked into the kitchen and picked up his newspaper from the windowsill. He sat at the table after kissing Shia on the cheek, stealing a cookie in the process.
"Latest issue, 'How To: Get the Succ in Under 20 Minutes'... The newspapers are getting desperate. If they hadn't stopped interviewing me months ago, they wouldn't have this problem." Cena said, emotionally eating his cookie.
"Don't worry, when I get back we can go visit crying Kim K next door, she moved in recently." And with that, Shia left with the basket.

His first stop was Caveman Spongebob, but no matter how hard Shia tried he couldn't help but scare C.S. by accident, so eventually Beouf just stopped trying.
"Here are some cookies, Cavey."
"RRGHAWH" He blurted, spinning around suddenly when he heard Shia's voice.
"Sorry, here. Have some-" but Cavey just smelt the few Shia held in his hand. A little too vigorously for Shia's liking. "Yknow, I'll just- put these down now..." and he left C.S. inspecting them in the sand. He could see Mr. Krabs practically spinning inside the hut when he could smell them.
Shia walked to the next house over, and saw Pepe sitting on the front porch area with some light reading. Shia decided not to start any dialogue with Pepe today,  just giving him a few cookies and leaving. He appreciated Pepe's smile, though.
After an emotional trip with every old meme from "Tag Yourself" to Vine, Shia still had a few cookies. He decided to bring them back home and have one for himself. Once inside, he joined John at the table and ate a cookie.
"So, how was it?" Cena asked.
"Eh, about as depressing as you'd expect. I saw Kim outside, someone must have really said something bad to her today. Felt bad, honestly. But don't get me started on all the "Naenae-ing" and bottle flipping, I wish we could've had an extra island for them by now." Shia said, grabbing a napkin from the Poot-themed centerpiece. She had been very successful in selling her merchandise throughout the area.

The calm serenity was quickly disturbed. The ground suddenly shuttered, and Shia reflexively yanked himself out of his chair.
"Don't worry, it's just the winds off the ocean. You can peel yourself off the ceiling." Cena said jokingly, but Shia was still standing stiff as a tree. Shia was shook.
"Trust me babe, I know those winds. That felt differe-" Shia began, but he was cut off by the house shaking again, this time much more vigorously. John was practically thrown off of his wicker chair and scurried across the room to hold Shia close. "You don't think-" Shia began, but John shushed and held him closer. The government found them, John could feel it. He just couldn't bare to hear it. Suddenly, Shia jerked from John's grasp with a gasp and ran out the door. John could see storm clouds forming in the sky, and all he could hear before Shia bolted out the door was, "Joe and Barack!! They won't know!!"
John tried to chase after his love, but once he got outside he couldn't see Shia anywhere. He turned a full 360 degrees on his hover board and still had no idea where he could have gone. Out of anger, John chucked his hoverboard into the ocean, it catching fire mid-flight. Rain started to pour down, the sun now masked by the dark ominous clouds. Cena could hear the helicopters approaching in the horizon.
"Maybe... Putin." He thought. "If I don't know where Barack is, maybe Putin does! Then I'll find Shia..." He said before charging towards Putin's hut. John knew Putin and Obama didn't have an easy breakup, but now that he'd moved on and found the swollen orange Cheeto of a man he was currently with, maybe his heart could bare the thought of his past lover again. This sole possibility is what John depended on, even more when he realized, it wasn't the Government that had found them. It was something much worse...