Letters to Niall Horan

Chapter 1

“Hey, pig face!”

            “That’s not my name,” I mumbled.

            “What was that?” She growled.

            “Nothing!” I said quickly, looking down at the ground.

            “That’s what I thought,” she whispered, a slight tone to her voice.

            She slapped my books out of my hands then pushed me onto the floor. Her and her friends snickered, walking away. I looked up. People were giggling and pointing at me. No. Not again. This can’t be happening. I started to breath really heavily and looked around franticly. Everything was blurring and all I could here was the laughing. I stood up, forgetting about my books. I took off running down the hallway.

            I kept running, away from all of the laughing. Away from her. But the further I ran the louder the laughter got, piercing my eardrums with its hideous sound. I slapped my hands over my ears, trying to stop the sound from penetrating my senses anymore. I kept getting weird looks from people. They were looking at me like I was some psycho, and maybe on some level I was.

            “Tatum!” Someone yelled, blocking my path.

            “M-move! Move so I can leave this hell hole!”

            “Tatum, calm down.  Just calm down.”

            I grabbed the hair on my head and started pulling at it. They were still in there, laughing at me. I wanted them out. Now. I started to hit my head with the palm of my hands, tears welling up in my eyes. I felt someone grab my wrists and push them down to my sides. They then did something that caught me off guard. They brought me into a hug. ‘Shhh’ they whispered, rubbing my back. I stood there for a moment, stiff as a board.

            “Tatum, it’s alright. They can’t hurt you now.”

            That was a lie. Such a huge lie. They would find some way to hurt me, even if they had to follow me into the pits of hell. But for some reason, those five simple words made me feel safe. I buried my head into their shirt and just cried. Cried because of them. Cried because of the laughter. Just cried for it all. They smoothed out my hair and just held me. It felt nice to be cared for.

            “Here, let’s come into my office, okay?”

            I nodded and they pulled away. I opened my eyes, my vision finally clear. I then noticed that the person I was crying on was Miss Allison. She was our schools counselor. I looked at her white blouse and noticed it way soaked in the shoulder. My cheeks turned red and I looked down, allowing her to guide me into her office. I heard the door shut behind me and knew that I was safe. For now.

            I took a seat in one of the chairs she had in front of her desk and put my hands in my lap, looking at the floor. I heard the old chair squeak and knew she had sat down. We sat there in silence for a while until she had finally spoke.

            “Tatum, look at me.”

            I shakily pulled my head up to look at her. She had light brown hair that was pulled back into a somewhat messy bun with a few strands that have collected by her face, framing it. Her green eyes were staring intensely back into my grey ones.

            “What happened?”

            I looked at her. What happened? That’s really the question she wanted to ask? Why not “are you okay Tatum?” I looked into her eyes and knew I couldn’t avoid the question. I took in a shaky breath and told her. I told her everything. From Sasha calling me pig face and pushing me down to running in the hallway with the voices following me. She listened to all of it, never once did she look away. Her hands were folded together and set neatly on the desk. I finished and wiped my eyes, catching the few stray tears then ran down my cheeks while I told her.

            “Well it sounds like you have a bit of social anxiety and social phobia.”

            She was probably right. My parents are usually gone away on business trips and I’m left alone in our house. I also don’t have any siblings so I don’t really talk to people. And it doesn’t help that I have no friends. I looked back down and nodded my head. I heard her desk drawer open and some things move around. I glanced up and noticed she had grabbed a pad of paper and a pen. Oh great, it’s probably a letter for my parents explaining how I need to go see a doctor. I heard her pen click and herd the tearing out of the paper.

            She handed me the slip and I looked at it. It was a homework assignment. I gave her a questionable look and she smiled. She stood up and gave me the look, signaling I needed to too. I quickly stood and looked at her. She produced a slip from out of her pocket and handed it to me. It was a late slip.

            “You better get going. I had the janitor pick up your books and he has set them in your locker,” she smiled, “and read that when you get home, okay?”

            I nodded and left. I walked down the hall to my locker and opened it, grabbing my things for my next class. I walked down the hall to the English room. I opened the door and hung my head low.

            “Do you have a pass, Tatum?”

            I shuffled over to her and handed the pass to her. Her eyes scanned it and she dismissed me to my seat. I heard people snicker as I made my way over to my seat. I slid in and set my stuff up towards the top and looked down.

            “Okay class, today we are going to start the play “Romeo and Juliet” by Shakespeare.”

                                                                        ----------

            The last bell rang and I scurried out of my classroom and out of the school building. I walked past the parking lot and over a few blocks to my house. I pulled a key out from under my shirt and placed it in the lock, turning it until I heard a click. I shoved the door open and threw my coat off my body and put it on the coat rack. I placed my bag right by the stairs then went over to the kitchen and grabbed a little bottle of apple juice along with a bag of fruit snacks.

            I walked over to the stairs and grabbed my bag, hopping up them two at a time. I made it to my room and opened the door, walking straight over to the desk in the corner. I got out all my homework and set it in the corner in a neat pile. I grabbed a pencil and started.

            I finished it quite fast actually. I started putting my stuff back away in my bag and herd something in my pocket crunch. I knitted my eye brows together in confusion and reached in, grabbing it. I pulled it out and noticed it was the note Miss Allison had gave me. I unfolded it and started reading it.

            Tatum,

I have been watching what has been happening with you, and let me tell you, you are a very strong girl for putting up with it. I don’t think I could. I’ve also done a little background searching and saw that your parents are always away and you have no siblings to interact with. That is why I came up with the conclusion that you have social anxiety and social phobia. You have no one to discuss your problems with and I think that has something to do with it. So, this is what I want you to do. Below is an address. I want you to write out what you have been thinking and send it to them. It might be a while until you get a reply, but that’s okay. Write out what you have been feeling. Write about anything that has been bothering you. This is basically your pen pal.

                                                Have fun, Miss Allison

            I looked down at the address and noticed that my pen pal was from across the world. Ireland. That’s quite a ways away for a pen pal. What if their some kind of pedophile? No, Miss Allison wouldn’t do that, or would she? No, stop Tatum. She wants to help you, not hurt you. I ripped out a piece of paper from my notebook and started writing.