This story takes place in March 2017 in an possible alternate reality where Donald Trump wins the 2016 presidential race.
EARTH 12, INFINITYVERSE, MARCH 14, 2017
"Fuck!"
"Wade, what are you complaining about now?"
"You can no longer find a chimichanga shop in America!"
"Why is that such a big deal"
"WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL? I need chimichangas to fucking survive!"
Wade angrily walks out of the master bedroom in Weasel's apartment.
"Chimichangas aren't gonna make you live forever. You can't even die anyway!", Weasel tells Wade.
"Just because I can't die doesn't mean I can't die!", Wade angrily says to Weasel.
Weasel walks over to the TV to try to find the remote and then pauses and says, "What the fuck does that even mean?". "It means.....I don't know what the fuck that means it!". Wade gets a phone call, and his phone vibrates in his back pocket. "What's Al's vibrator doing in my pocket? Oh shit, that's mine..", Wade says with a smile. "Why do you have a vibra...", Weasel asks before being interrupted by Wade. "Oh, its just my phone. Helllooo, number I do not recognize.", Wade says as he answers his phone. "Deadpool!", a voice in the phone says. "This is Pool. Who are you?". "Deadpool, I told you to save this number in your phone!", the voice exclaims.
"Oh hey boss! Yeah, sorry bout that, I totally forgot you said that!", Wade says then mouths to Weasel, "no I didn't".
"Meet me in my office asap, I've got a mission for you", Boss says.
"This better be good! I don't want to take out another Avengers' cat next time!", Deadpool says.
"Oh believe me", Boss says, "This is a good one!".
Hours later, Deadpool arrives at his boss's office.
"Wade, are you ready for your mission?"
"I'm always ready, Boss!"
"You remember how me and Donald Trump were business partners?"
"Yeeeeaaahh?"
"Well, he sued my company and made me become bankrupt"
"What'd he sue you for?"
"That's not important now. I need you to merc President Donald Trump"
"I'm sorry, did you say MOTHERFUCKING MERC DONALD TRUMP? I actually like Trump. I believe he will keep America shit still!"
"*sigh* I heard you liked chimichangas, Wade."
"Annnd?"
"He began deporting illegal Mexicans"
"Soooo?"
"Mexicans make chimichangas, Wade."
Wade gasps incredibly hard. "I'm gonna merc that motherfucker so hard, he and his toupee will wish they were never born!"
"I'll book you a flight to D.C. and you'll be leaving Friday."
Deadpool points to his face, "How is a masked butterface such as me gonna get on a plane with guns and swords and fly to D.C.?"
"Relax, Deadpool. I own a airline company! "
"Used to", mumbles Deadpool. "What was that?", Boss asks. "I said 'oh yeah!'", Deadpool quickly replies. "Thought so", Boss says. Deadpool walks out of his boss's office and into an elevator with 2 employees, one female wearing a tight blue suit and the other male with a large briefcase. Deadpool crosses his arms. "First floor, please", Wade tells the male employee, who backs into a corner after pressing the button. Purple Lamborghini by Skrillex & Rick Ross plays quietly in the background. Wade turns to the male employee in the corner and says, "You know this song is based on a true story, right?". Wade then turns to the female employee with a shirt buttoned down, showing much cleavage. "I like your shirt", Deadpool says to the confused female employee, then turns back around. Both employees awkwardly stand in the corners of the elevator. *ding!* "Ah, my floor! Ladies first", Deadpool says as he waves his hand towards the elevator exit. As the female employee walks out, Deadpool accidentally says, "Niiice ass!". The now offended female employee turns to Deadpool, in which he says, "I mean nice glass on the windows, yeah I meant that". The female employee turns back around. The male employee walks out the elevator and tells Deadpool, "I'd tap that too". Deadpool excitedly replies, "Right?!"
"*sigh* You done hit it big time, Wade!", Deadpool says as he walks out the front entrance of his Boss's company building
