Have I Told You (PUBLISHED)

Chapter Thirty Two

Chapter Thirty Two

Eisley

"E-Eisley..." That voice wasn't my mom's. The moment I heard that voice, I started to feel nervous. "This is Berna..." She was crying. Why was she using my mom's phone? Where was my mom? "W-Wala na siya."

"Where did she go?" I asked too weakly.

"She's dead."

I couldn't even hang up the phone. My body started to feel weak. I just stood still, both arms on my sides. I was numb. My chest tightened. It was too tight and it felt like it was being crumpled.

My heart and mind felt like bursting. I didn't know where I was going. I just kept walking. I didn't even know how to go back.

When Tyrese found me, she was crying. Was I supposed to cry? Was I supposed to comfort her or was it better if I cry with her? But I didn't feel like crying. My mom couldn't be dead. God wouldn't take her away from me. She wouldn't leave me. That was not possible, but why would tita Berna lie?

But then it struck me when I saw my mom inside the coffin that she's dead. My world's little, but when I realized she really is gone, my little world came crashing down. She had left me when she said she wouldn't.

I heard from the police men and investagators what happened. I heard from the attorney I'm inheriting my parents' money, insurance, and properties. I don't even care about them anymore. Just bring my mom back. Take every single thing I own except my mom and Tyrese.

I heard tita Berna curse the guests for being insincere.

I heard Tyrese telling tita Berna how much she felt sorry for my mom and then wishes she makes an impact on people's lives before she dies. She already did. She's the reason why I've been trying not to kill myself.

I heard the elders gossiping about how useless and bad I was. I was, but not because we ran away from my father. I was useless and bad, because I couldn't protect my mom from him. He only wanted material things.

My mom, on the other hand, was a good person. She wanted the best for me. She was a much better person than I am. Although she had gone through so much hardships, never once she had forgotten to be kind and remind me to be kind.

I heard everything, but I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even utter a word. I was fortunate Tyrese understood that.

She gave me everything I needed. I needed time, and she gave me that. I needed her brutal words, so she told me what I had to hear. She didn't even try to sugarcoat them. I needed her to wait, and she did.

I need her, and she's here.

If not for her, I would have followed my mom in an instant. I wouldn't even think twice. But Tyrese, that girl, she makes me want to live. I want to see her smile. I want to paint her and see hair paint. I want to take a picture of her. I want to stay alive for her.

But, how? How do I love her completely when I'm puzzled and broke? Tyrese's right. I don't want to die, but I'm scared to live either. Staying alive and living are different.

The day after the funeral, as soon as I got out of the bed, I felt dizzy. I thought I was going to faint. My heart felt like its burning. As I was walking down the stairs, losing my balance, tita Berna saw me and rushed me to the hospital. She knows my doctor personally, so she brought me there.

"Hindi na 'to symptoms ng love." What was he saying? "It's different this time, but let's hope not." I couldn't understand him. "Mr. Cosicquen, we need to get your heart tested again."