The Birds Will Keep Singing

Chapter 1: Solita

Do you ever feel sad for no reason? It doesn't make sense to feel this way. At least if you are sad for some reason you know how to fix it in order to make yourself feel better. When you don't know why your sad, it's frustrating because you just can't get over it. The sadness comes and goes without warning. Sometimes you'll be having a really good day and then go to sleep at night crying, because you don't know what's wrong. Sometimes I wish something bad would happen to me, just so I could have a reason to suffer and it would make sense for me to feel anxious and depressed. Isn't it weird how you could be feeling all of these emotions, but on the outside it doesn't show. Through the eyes of others my life seems pretty good to them.

"Hey Laura so you're family is hella rich right?" Asked my friend Suzanna.

"I wouldn't say we're rich, my parents just work really hard to afford all of the nice things we have" I replied. It was lunchtime at school, my friends, Melissa, Suzanna, and I were sitting at our usual lunch table in the middle of the quad.

"Your an only child too, so your parents probably spoil you a lot." Said Melissa.

"I mean I guess, but I don't really care about that materialistic stuff. It means nothing to me". I replied. Of course I feel blessed for everything my parents do for me. Unfortunately they are workaholics, so I never really see them. I would prefer to have them by my side then some worthless expensive objects.

"Omg, Laura what do you mean all those things mean nothing to you. Obviously your parents bought them for you because they love you. Aren't you grateful for that!?"

"I never said I wasn't grateful what I meant was-"

"Ya Laura you should be more appreciative of what you have I know I always let my parents know I'm grateful for any little thing they do for me like..."

I started to drift off into deep thought. How has Melissa turned  this around to make it about herself? How could she compare herself to me. I am who I am and she is who she is. She is essentially making herself sound better than me. I mean Melissa and Suzanna haven't even given me the chance to explain myself. The reason I said I don't really care about all that materialistic items, is because my parents try to buy my love. They spoil me with objects, when really I want them to spoil me with love. My parents are both huge workaholics. I am an only child. I spend most of my time alone in my house. I've made it clear to my parents I want to spend more time together as a family. My parents do feel bad about leaving me, but they feel the more they work the more they can give back to me. I don't think I'm asking for much, but why do they feel giving me stuff is better than their actual love? I feel like no one understands me. Even Melissa and Suzanna don't even listen to me. They just put words in my mouth.

"So ya, Laura you should really think about that next time your parents give you an expensive gift."

"Ya not that many people are as fortunate as you are."

I had not been listening to anything they've been saying this whole time so I just replied "ok I wil"

Melissa puts her hand on my shoulder and gives me a toothy smile and says "Girl, I mean we're just being honest with you."

There was no use in trying to start an argument about what I said I gave her a small smile. I then continued to finish my salad.

"So anyways since your house is so nice Melissa and I were thinking of throwing a surprise birthday party for Miguel." Said Suzanna.

Miguel is Suzanna's boyfriend they've been together since Junior year. Suzanna and him are like love birds and are inseperable.  I haven't seen him though in a while since he has 1st lunch and we have 2nd lunch. I also haven't seen him since Trevor and I had broken up over summer vacation.