Hamilton One-Shots

No Sight Needed [Lams]

His body quivered and his skin crawled with anxiety. Scared was not a word strong enough to portray the rush of adrenaline in his head. He felt as if the world was closing in on him. John was the only steady thing in the world at that moment. The walking cane the doctor had given him was clasped in his right hand, but his boyfriend was the one he relied on to lead him.

"The couch is right beside you," John instructed.

Only with John's help was Alex able to carefully lower himself to the couch. The couch cushion sunk underneath Alex's weight. He tried to balance the walking stick and ended up letting it slide to the floor. It sounded as if it had narrowly missed his feet.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes," he said quickly. He was too eager to hear his own voice. He listened to John's footsteps fade into the other room. A cabinet opened and the faucet filled a cup with water until it was turned off. Even though Alex could still hear everything, he almost immediately regretted sending John away for water. The bandages wrapped around his head completely cut off his sight. There was only darkness and it took most of his sanity not to dwell on it.

Hercules was right. They shouldn't have been messing with fire like that. It would never have blown up in his face, quite literally. He wouldn't be blind. No, he had to be stupid. Now he was robbed of his sight for god knows how long. His blood cooled when he realized how much more difficult writing would be without his sight. Typing was no big deal. He had the keyboard basically memorized. Editing and reading over his writing, that was the problem. Maybe John or Laf would help him?

"Here you are." John pressed a glass into Alex's hands.

Alex held the glass in his hands and made sure not to let his grip slip. He felt the couch cushion beside him dip when John sat beside him.

"Not very thirsty, huh?"

"I don't think so," he said quickly. He felt the glass being taken from him and he released his grip on it. "It's just going to take some time to get used to. You know, not seeing at all."

John's hand was on his shoulder, his arms wrapped over his shoulders. "We'll get through this."

"You're not the one walking around blind," he mumbled.

"I may have my sight, but that doesn't mean this isn't my problem as well," he said sternly.

Alex smiled. "Thank you." He hesitantly leaned towards John. John helped him and lead him to rest against his body. Alex's hands tumbled around in his lap nervously. He tried to wipe his palms on his pants, that were slick with sweat.

John didn't speak, only sat with his arm wrapped around him. The silence unnerved Alex. With lost of his sight, he knew he would live with it, but it was one thing he hadn't ever expected to deal with. Others live their whole lives without seeing once. Surely he could he make it a few weeks.

John's arm tightened around Alexander briefly. "Alex, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said with a nod of his head.

"You're trembling."

Until then, he had been able to contain the panic coursing through him. That stopped now. "I can't see!" he shouted. He could feel tears leak into the bandages. "What am I going to do?"

"You're going to stay calm."  His voice was quiet and it quieted Alex's own voice.

"John?" His hand wandered where he thought John's hand might have been. He found his hand and held a gentle grip on it. "Are you all right?"

"Just promise that you'll be okay. Your sights not lost forever, you're just healing."

Alex nodded. "I'm okay." He pulled John's hand to his lips with a small kiss. He imagine John smiling, his freckles wrinkling under his eyes and his lips turned up. He let go of John's hand. "Can you just promise me that you won't leave?"

"Of course, Alex." John's arms wrapped around him, his head right beside his. "Always."

Alex returned the hug and rested his head over his boyfriend's shoulder. He breathed a small sigh of relief, "Thank you." Alex smiled but, soon started to panic as John pulled away and stood.

"Are you hungry?"

Alex hesitated and didn't let go of John's hand. His stomach did feel empty, but he didn't want to be left alone. "I want to come with you."

"I'll just be in the other room," he tried reassuring him. Alex shook his head, getting to his feet. "Come on, then." John linked his arms with Alex's and walked with him to the kitchen. "Take this."

The walking cane was pressed into Alex's hand. He wasn't sure when John had picked it up, but he was grateful for it anyhow. He held it firmly in his right hand, letting the cane trail in front of him as he felt the carpet turn to tile under his shoes.

John pulled his arm away slowly. "You okay?"

Alex nodded, his confidence in the metal cane in his hand slowly building. John's presence left his side, but he never left his radar. He listened to his footsteps, trying to make a mental map. He knew what the house looked like, but as he quickly found out, everything seemed vastly different without sight.

The fridge opened and he heard the fan running as John pulled a few things out. A drawer opened and John pulled out a piece of silverware as there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Alex jumped at it.

"You sure?"

Alex nodded. "I want to." He turned left and slowly walked towards where he thought the front door was in the apartment. His cane cleared the way in front of him.

"On your right," John directed.

Alex followed and after just a few baby steps, his cane ran into a wall. He walked forward, reaching out for the smooth metal of the door knob. His hand rose and lowered for a minute before he finally found the door knob and pulled the door open.

"Took you long enough- Alex!" He heard Hercules speak and smiled. "I see you're adjusting."

He was. Though, truthfully his chest was still enveloped in panic. "Alex stepped aside to let him and a second person in, who he somehow knew was Laf. It took him a moment to realize that it was a scent he had that gave him away. "Hi, Hercules. Hey, Laf."

"How did you know it was me?" Laf asked.

Alex closed the door, using his cane to make his way back to the kitchen where John was fixing some food at the counter. "You smell. I mean, I can smell one of your products or something," he said, becoming uncertain.

"You are right," Laf exclaimed to Alex's delight.

Footsteps approached from behind him. John's hand landed on his arm, gentle and firm at once. He lead Alex to the table where Alex sat down. A plate clinked to the table top in front of him. Alex leaned his can against the side of his chair as he felt for the meal in front of him. He found bread and carefully picked up the sandwich and took a bite.

"You seem to be doing pretty well," Laf commented.

Alex gave him a smile. He thought that Hercules and Laf must have sat at the table. "It's kind of weird. I'll be fine." He wasn't quite sure how to explain it. It wasn't how you would have thought, being able to see. It was like being dropped in an entirely different world. His head lifted up. "As long as John stays with me!"

He felt John's lips on his cheek, his curls brushing against his skin. "Always," he reassured him.