Dunno where to put this stuff

Dear Purple Sweater

I had referred to you only 

as "Purple Sweater"

on my list

of weight loss goals.

But you aren't really purple

you are more special

than a common purple

in definition 

you are plum colored.

You were a treat

a present

to allow myself

when I reached a certain weight

because you were so pretty

and wonderful.

You are soft

and thick 

and most of all you fit

very well

almost tight, 

comfortably snug.

I had waited

many weeks

to be able to wear you.

So

today

in elation

I had climbed the cellar stairs

to pull you over my head

ceremoniously

and smile at my reflection

because you really are

a wonderfully soft

thick sweater

and you looked great

on my restricted body.

And everybody commented

on how great you looked 

and I knew inside

that even though you were new

and they hadn't seen you before

they really complimented me

on my self control

and my ability to lose weight.

Any time

someone said 

"Nice sweater"

or 

"I like it too"

I know 

they are inwardly impressed

by the way my hands are becoming bony

and how I have to wear a belt

to make my pants fit.

And because I loved you so much

I didn't wear my bracelet 

because I didn't want the bells

that remind me not to eat

to catch

on the sleeve.

I thought

that my love for you

would be all that I would need

to keep me from eating

the biscuits 

and the chocolate 

and the cereal

and the meat.

I was wrong.

And I'm sorry

that you were given the impression

that I was strong enough

worthy enough 

to wear you.

I'm sorry that I accidentally

got tears on you

because you were supposed to be 

untainted

and pure.

I'm sorry that I was not strong enough

and it would kill me

to have to put you back

in the bag you came in

and not wear you for a while

just because 

of a mistake I made.

I hope 

you can forgive me

and wait patiently 

for the day 

when I can pull you on my body again

and you can give me warmth

when I need it most.

I thank you for being such a good sweater

even if it was just 

for one day.

And I hope I will be able 

to wear you soon.