RAISING SUMMER ✔

28. Mistaken

Song: Sweet Jane by Garrett Kato

 I took the elevator upstairs to apologize to Luke with the two Gold passes for the free activities that came with the room. Even though his confession didn't go the way we both would have wanted I still pushed him over the edge. I walked down the hall and knocked on the door and waited patiently for an answer. The door opened as I looked up with a smile, my smile faded as Kelly stood behind the door in front of me wearing one of Luke's tee shirts and scandalous underwear. 

"Sorry wrong room." I apologized to Kelly and attempted to leave. 

"Are you looking for Luke?" She asked.

"Yeah, bu..."

"He's in the shower." She answered.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh sweetie don't be naive, costed me my loveless short marriage so I set out to return the favor only you weren't really married. So I guess it didn't matter if Luke and I had a little fun." She snatched the passes from my hand, and examined them as my eyes began to water. I tried to keep it down, the emotions but I couldn't suppress them.

"I'll do you a favor and let Luke know you stopped by." 

"No, don't bother." I turned numbly to walk down the hallway to the elevator. The steel doors closed in front of me as the tears spilled onto my warm red cheeks. How could I have been so stupid, I thought to myself.  I sobbed why was I crying, there was nothing sad about this. Luke moved on and he moved on quickly. But I wasn't planning on being anything more to Luke than his sisters best friend and the girl that helped raise Summer. That was what I wanted I kept reasoning with myself. I tried to avoid crying for no  apparent reason. The only thing that I cared about was Summer, I thought about how much I missed her and I wanted to hold her in my time of despair. I walked into my room and gathered my things, I grabbed my bags and my passport and called a taxi to the airport. Maybe it was stupid to leave on a whim, but this vacation for me was over and I didn't see any reason to stay any longer. 

***

I picked Summer up from Lucy's house next door before heading home for the first time in a long week. She was sleeping and I was almost tempted to wake her up to spend time with her but it was her bedtime and mine and I quickly decided against it. I set Summer in her crib in my bedroom to let her sleep peacefully. I laid tired but restlessly in bed I closed my eyes and tried to talk them like I did when I was a kid. Tears streamed down my cheeks and stained my pillows. I wanted them here, they were suppose to be here for me. I craved my mothers comforting arms and my fathers soothing voice that put me down as a child. I wanted it to be a nightmare a giant nightmare. I pleaded they would all be here when I woke up, but after years and years of adolescent pleading and begging for my life to return to the the way it use to be I gave up after realizing that my voice would never be heard. I curled up in my sheets and cried myself to sleep.