Waking (The Walking Dead)

10| Confessions

10| Confessions

Claire wanders over to where Lila's bedroom door is. She holds a plate of breakfast in her hand but it wobbles as she is shaking so much out of fear as if Lila could do something to hurt her.

Bentley had insisted that she would be the one to take the food up to her, seeing as the two needed to make peace again before it went too far. But Claire knew how stubborn Lila was. Lila hated her when they first met, and although she ended up warming up to Claire quickly, this was a different situation.

Claire knocks twice on the bedroom door with her unsteady hand. There is no answer, not even any movement. She glances at the toast, eggs and bacon piled onto the plate. They were beginning to get cold.

"Lila? It's me, Claire. Can I come in?"

"I want you to fuck off as far away as you can." Her voice is muffled, meaning she was probably under the blanket.

"I've got breakfast for you. And we need to talk." Claire sounded confident on the outside but inside she was panicking.

"I don't want it. And I don't want to talk to you."

"But you have another person to feed, Lila. You need to eat so your baby-"

"I'm not having the baby!" Lila's voice shouts so loud that Claire flinches back and she is sure everyone in the house, even in the backyard, heard it.

Claire realizes that there isn't anything Lila could do to hurt her. She wasn't a walker, she was a human being. A grieving human being.

"I'm coming in." Claire warns.

"Don't you dare-"

Claire opens the door and steps into the dark room. She closes it slowly behind her before her eyes lay on the body under the blanket just as she had expected.

Claire places the plate on the bedside table farthest away from Lila, and then wanders over to the blinds where she spreads them apart, filling the room up with morning sun.

She then turns to the bed, expecting to still see Lila in the same position out of Claire's sight. Instead, she's pleasantly surprised when she finds Lila vigorously chewing her food as if she hasn't eaten in weeks.

Claire can't help but exhale in relief and then smile, unsure of what to do with herself while Lila ate. Lila finishes the plate off in no time, before placing the plate next to her.

"Thanks. Now get out, please."

"I just want to talk. We really need to talk."

"What is there to talk about?"

"Lila, please." Claire pleads. "The sooner we get this over with, the sooner you can start to feel normal again."

"I'll never feel normal again, Claire. You don't understand how much I loved her. And my dad- I haven't seen him since it happened. He hasn't once came up to check on me. He doesn't try to leave his room. He's depressed to the limit. This is what I knew would happen if my mom died. He's never going to be the same ever again and I'm afraid he'll- He'll kill himself." Lila sniffs as a few tears escape from her bright eyes.

Claire wanders over to her, delicately sitting at the end of the bed and turning her body to face Lila.

"You know, when my grandma died my grandpa was the exact same. Even though I was a little kid, I remember my mom driving us to his house every morning only to find him not letting us in. He'd lock everything- the doors, the window, the garage. He didn't let anyone help him and that's why he died. He died by hanging himself." Claire says, waiting for Lila's reaction. Lila looks down sadly and Claire takes it as her cue to continue.

"Lila, you have people taking care of you. So does your dad, and although he doesn't want it I know that Bentley and Harrison have been visiting him anyway. My grandpa had nothing. No one. That's why he died- because he felt alone and like nothing without his other half. And no one was there to stop him. But all of us are here to make sure that you and Buck don't do anything like that, okay? We were there when Tammy had her seizure yesterday-"

"Wait, Tammy had a seizure?" Lila interrupts, sounding shocked.

Claire nods warily.

"Shit. How much more have I missed?" She says and Claire chuckles.

"A lot, actually. Xavier and I have gotten closer too."

Lila's half smile drops and I notice it. "By closer... How close do you mean?"

"I don't know... Like... Kissing closer." Claire feels herself blush.

Lila doesn't look too happy. Instead, she looks nervous. She looks down at her blanket and her fingers grip it until her knuckles turn white.

"What?" Claire asks, frowning at her.

"N-Nothing-"

"Lila, please tell me." Claire feels her own nerves getting the best of her, and she almost feels panicky.

"I-I don't know how to put this-"

"Just tell me." Claire panics.

Even more tears stream down Lila's cheeks.

"It's Xavier's baby, Claire."

Claire feels like scorching hot water has been poured over her as the room goes spinning around her. The rest of Lila's voice is muffled as she seems to be trying to explain something. Claire has to stand up just so that the room would stop moving.

"How- How could you?" Claire asks on the brink of tears. She can't even look at Lila right now.

"I didn't know you two were together, Claire." Lila says sternly.

"But you knew that Xavier and I had something. You knew I liked him and you knew we shared the same bed, and we did everything for each other. Everyone thought we were a couple." Claire's heart is shattered.

"I'm sorry."

Claire feels bike rise up her throat. "And- And what about Bentley? Hm? Does he know?!"

"No! And don't say anything to him, please!" She screeches.

"You cheated on him, Lila! He's going to knows it's not his baby just by looking at its face. I can't believe you." Claire looks at Lila with disgust.

"No. No. I-It might be Bentley's. There is a chance that it could be his."

"But you still had sex with Xavier." Claire's voice is fragile as she tries to remember when Xavier has most likely done it.

"Xavier had sex with me! He knew I had a boyfriend yet he was still adamant on fucking."

"A-Are you saying that Xavier-"

"Yes, Claire. He was controlling. I'm not saying it was rape as I went along with it eventually, but you can't put all the blame on me."

"I need to ask him-"

"No! Claire! Don't." Claire stops walking and turns to look at Lila again.

"Why not?"

"Because... Because if you tell anyone, and that includes Bentley, I'm killing this baby."

A/N

A very short chapter compared to my other chapters, but next chapter will be longer. :) I just want to put something out there today even though I'm pretty early.

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