Fragments of the Reclaimer

Infinity Welcomed Crazy Passengers

They wandered for what seemed like hours in the swamps of Requiem. Aria couldn't track Infinity's descent, so they'd just have to rely on their eyes. In the meantime the two of them bickered occasionally like a married couple. Almost like old times.

"Remind again me why we're going towards the danger?" Rimmer asked.

"They might need our help."

"I don't remember offering any."

"Rimmer, shut your mouth."

He still continued without a beat. "Much less agreeing to go through this hell-hole just to 'help'."

She heavily sighed. "How does Dave put up with this shit?" she muttered.

"And what do you suppose we do when we get there? I'm a second tech! What am I gonna do?!"

"What happened to Acting, Senior Commanding Officer, Arnold J. Rimmer?"

"I might have embellished a little on that bit." he admitted.

"Oh, really?" she sarcastically asked. "Well, if they ask me about you, I'll lie."

"Would you?"

Her Welsh accent thickened the more irritated she became. "Rimmer, I swear to God, if you don't shut up, I'll shove this muck down your gob!"

"Can I just say one more thing?"

"What?"

"I'm not happy about this."

"Really? I couldn't tell." she retorted.

"You're a very rude woman."

"Am I?"

He nodded. "You're going on report for this."

"There it is..." she drawled.

"Telling me to shut up... I have never been so insulted!"

"You don't listen much, do you?"

"Just lucky for you, I'm—"

She abruptly grabbed a hold of him, covered his mouth with her hand, and they hid behind a boulder. He glared at her; he huffed, showing great displeasure for being manhandled.

Two AI lifeforms cropped up as if from nowhere, scanning the area for any survivors. If they saw them they'd be dead.

"Those things are back, and I seriously don't want to deal with them without any weapons," she whispered. "So, you really, really need to shut up," She peered around; it seemed like the coast was clear. "Okay," she sighed. "I'm going to remove my hand, but you need to stay quiet, alright?"

He gave an affirming nod. Slowly, she removed her hand from his mouth.

Of course he did speak, and the first thing that left his mouth was a complaint. "Your palm is excessively sweaty, do you realise that?"

"What did I just say?" she growled in a syncopated whisper.

"It's not like I yelled it."

Her eyes widened; she saw something behind him. "Rimmer?"

"You know, it's very difficult for me to stay quiet when you're still talking to me."

"Rimmer!"

"What?!" He turned around to see what she was looking at and saw one of the AI lifeforms towering over him. "Oh, smeg."

It let out a jarring screeched. Aria shoved Rimmer out harms way, and grabbed a hefty stick to whack it like a piñata. Suddenly a gunshot went off, and it disintegrated before she even had the chance to do anything.