Memories {Bucky Barnes}

The Search Begins

"I can't just sit here knowing he's out there," Koa said, staring out the window and down at the street below, her knees drawn to her chest. "I can't help but think it's my fault. I could've gotten him out of there."

"Koa, it wasn't your fault. You did all you could," Sam said, scooting closer to her on the sofa and gently placing a hand on her knee. "If anything, it's my fault for taking you away from him. You lost sight of him because of me."

Laughing softly, Koa brushed her hair from her face and shook her head. "Well, I was dressed in Hydra uniform, you didn't know any better." She paused and turned to face Sam. "Do you know if Steve has had any luck?"

"I haven't," Steve replied, appearing in the doorway, arms crossed and his face long. The bags under his eyes were especially noticeable as he looked around the room, his eyes settling and focusing on the windows. "Natasha said she was going to try to get some information on him, where he might be. It's hard to track him down without understanding his thought process. Without his memories he's not himself. I don't know what move he's going to make next anymore."

"But I do," Koa said. "Somewhat."

"No, Koa, I can't let you go out there. Tony would never let me," Steve said, a look of disapproval on his face.

"Steve, he's not in charge of me anymore. I'm the only one that has been around James—sorry, Bucky—since Hydra. I was always with him on missions, did checkups to make sure he was okay. I am literally the only Hydra agent that had conversations with him on a daily basis."

"Koa, it's too risky to send you out there on a whim that you might possibly run into him. The world's a big and evil place. If something happened to you I could never forgive myself."

"It wouldn't be on you. It'd be on me. No one's fault but mine." Koa lowered her legs and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs. "Isn't it worth a shot? You of all people should understand why I need to go out there. You want Bucky back more than anyone!"

Steve sighed, bringing a hand up to his forehead, glancing over at Sam who held his hands in surrender. "We don't even have a lead, Koa. It'd be different if we had something, anything, but we don't."

Koa let out a puff of air from her nose, shaking her head and getting to her feet. "I can't believe this. Sometimes I feel like I had more freedom as a Hydra agent." She tied her hair back and headed for the door. Sam got up to go after her, but Steve held out an arm and shook his head.

"You don't mean that," he said as she left the room.

"You're right, I don't."

Koa made her way down the hall, not entirely sure where to go, who to talk to. No one understood like Sam and Steve did, but she was getting nowhere with them. Too many things holding her back. Sure, Steve was right that they needed a lead, but she felt like she was abandoning Bucky by not doing anything. She sat at the top of the staircase, not feeling like going anywhere, just away from Steve. For now. No one wanted Bucky back more than him and she was quite surprised he was being so rational about it.

"Koa?" A voice asked from the bottom of the stairs. Koa looked down to find Natasha standing with a folder in her hands, a finger pressed against her lips. She nodded for Koa to follow her and she scrambled down the staircase, hoping she had something enough to convince Steve to let her go looking for Bucky.

"It's not much, and it took some digging, but I think it's enough to get started," Nat said, closing the door behind them and setting the folder on the table. Opening it, should took out two newspapers articles. "Sokovia." She slid one in front of Koa, a slightly blurry picture of a man with longer hair and a baseball cap.

"Do you know what this says?" Koa asked, pointing to the caption underneath the photo. "Is this in Sokovian?"

"Yes. Sokovians speak both Serbian and Sokovian, which is related to Serbian. A rough translation would be 'Winter Soldier or unlucky civilian with similar appearance?'"

Koa let out a sigh of relief, setting the newspaper back on the table. "So they don't know for sure. Hopefully that means no one is going after him."

"But Barnes probably found the newspaper and figured it was best to leave."

"And the other one?"

"Serbia," Nat said, handing the other article over. "He must know Serbian or Sokovian since they are so closely related. Either that or it's just a coincidence that he was seen in both countries."

"Sokovia and Serbia are in the same general area," Koa said, searching the newspapers for a date. "He could still be around there." She looked over at Nat who was studying Koa's face.

"It's a possibility. He was spotted in Sokovia three months ago. Serbia last month. He's not being particularly safe about hiding his face aside from that hat."

"He's confused. I need to go find him." Koa made her way to the nearest computer, searching for a good map of Eastern Europe, projecting it on the wall. "It seems he likes the countries between Russia and Germany, which sort of makes sense. I mean, those are the two countries besides the United States that he's had ties with. Memories must be coming back for him to head there."

"Is that your inner Hydra speaking, or SHIELD?" Natasha asked, clearly impressed with her analyzation skills.

"Maybe a bit of both." Koa smiled, noticing Steve appear in the doorway, yet again, his arms crossed and a curious eyebrow raised.

"What's going on in here?"

Natasha sat on top of the table, crossing one leg over the other. "I may or may not have found a lead on Barnes." She pushed the newspapers toward him, Steve walking into the room and picking them up.

Koa watched as Steve became intrigued and walked over to the wall, pointing to Sokovia. "He was found here first, then here." She dragged her finger over to Serbia. "If he keeps in that direction, we'd have Bosnia, Croatia, Slovenia, eventually Austria and then Germany. But I don't think his plan is to go there."

"Bad memories," Steve added.

"Exactly." Koa blew a fallen strand of hair from her face and bit her lip, thinking. "My best guess is Hungary or Romania next." She turned to Natasha and Steve. "I have to go there."

"I'm coming with you," Steve said, but Koa shook her head.

"We can't risk him having false memories of you, Steve. He sees you and he might panic. I need to do this. Alone. I know how much you want to go out there, but I've seen all different kinds of sides of Bucky. I have an understanding of what goes on in his head, what types of things trigger him."

"But he's my best friend, Koa. If we have a lead I'm coming with you. That's an order."

Koa frowned a little, shoving her hands into her cardigan's pockets. "I'm not an Avenger, Steve. You aren't in charge of me." She turned to Natasha who had kept quiet since Steve entered the room.

"Koa might be right, Steve. I know how much you want to rescue Barnes, bring him back. I know how much he means to you. But that deep of a connection might be too much for Barnes to take right now. Koa can handle herself. I've seen her do it."

Steve sighed and stared at the floor, only looking up to stare at the map illuminated on the wall. "Okay. Fine."

Koa's eyes widened as Steve agreed, throwing her arms around him and whispering a quiet thank you. "I'll make sure to call while I'm gone and update you. Promise." Koa held out her pinky in front of Steve, making him laugh softly as he hooked his with hers. "Bucky will be home soon."

"Good luck soldier."

Koa smiled. "Thanks, Captain. I won't let you down."