TDX2 (Too Dull to Die)

TDX2 (Part 11)

"Come in, come in. If you're stupid enough to knock, you might as well sit down." The man dropped his head and went back to his paperwork while gesturing Guido to sit down. The chair Guido sat down on wasn't so comfortable. The man held out his hand, and Guido passed him the form, which He skim read.

"Hello...Guido."

"Hello. Are you...?"

"Yes, I am." He smiled at Guido. It was a much nicer smile than Satan's.

"You're...God?"

"Well, my name's Reginald but I guess you know me better as 'God', yes."

"Wow."

"Wow, indeed. Is this your form?"

"Wow."

"Yes, we've done that bit. Is this yours?"

"Wow."

"Enough of that. The form?"

"Sorry, yes, excuse me?" Guido's mind was blown. "God."

"Yes."

"You'd think I'd have a question for you or something, it's not every day someone gets to meet...God. But my mind's a blank."

"Happens all the time. No worries. Now, can we move onto business? I have your..."

"No, hang on, sorry, I have a question, really. I have one." Reginald gave Guido a long stare and flicked on his communicator.

"Audrey?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Scratch my 12:30, will you? The one with Michael. Put it to 4:00, okay?"

"Yes, sir." Reginald closed his communicator. "Okay, Guido, the floor is yours." Reginald relaxed back in his very comfortable chair.

"You're in charge of everything, right?"

"Yes. I'm Regin...sorry, God."

"You're the one who put everything together, made everything and everyone?"

"Yes, I am." Reginald smiled.

"Right down to the last flower, the last bee?"

"Yes, I am, Guido." Reginald's smile waned. "You said you had 'a question', that usually means just the one."

"Sorry, I'm building up to it, I think."

"Shoot."

"Right. So...so why is there all this suffering, this killing, and...and people not only dying but dying in vicious, monstrous ways. Why all this violence, this...'nastiness'? Surely if you're in charge you can do something about it?"

"Good question." Guido waited for the answer, it took a while to come, he saw that God...Reginald was in contemplation. Either that, or he'd fallen asleep. "What exactly..." The suddenness of Reginald's reply from out of the silence made Guido jump.

"Sorry." Guido settled himself back into his chair.

"That's okay. Guido, what exactly do you think your race is doing down there?"

"Living? Well, I wasn't, I was existing, which I now realise is a lot different. But everyone else lives. Mostly."

"Yes, they're making decisions in their lives, doing what they want or what they think they need to do. I don't have any say in that. I'm up here, not down there."

"What about all this 'God sees all' stuff? What about that?"

"This is what I see." Reginald pressed a switch on his desk to pull back a false wall behind him, revealing a mass of screens showing all the television channels being broadcasted from the surface. "And if I'm feeling nostalgic, I just go behind...and lo and behold..." Reginald gestured Guido to stand up and follow him behind the screens. "...I can see this, an excellent view of the surface." Guido saw planes flying through the clouds, while underneath blankets of oceans covered the globe, with glimpses of cities and life on land. "I also get the odd report, sometimes very odd. You monkeys do some strange things on the surface."