The Crack of SHINRA Janitors: The Crackier Edition

Where Universe Hopping Is A Thing, And No, You Can't Have The Shiny Ring! Part 1

This was sort of spawned due to a conversation in the comment section of SHINRA Janitors, and it has become . . . . this thing you see before you.

Keith: Well, I'm going to enjoy this. I get to screw around with people more than often!
Liulfr: It's going to be weird. Sephiroth has gotten me addicted to energy drinks now, ironically the energy drink 'Mother'
Keith: And that means for me?
Liulfr: Some really messed up crack is going to happen.

I do not happen to own the rights to FFVII or any characters to recognize. Because if I did, Sephiroth would have never gone crazy because he would be too addicted to chocolate and energy drinks.

Chapter 1: Someone Needs To Work On Their Timing

-o0o-

Today had been a normal day.

Coffee was being split, secretaries 'obviously' do their jobs, and Sephiroth was being stalked by a human chocobo.

. . . . .

Okay, we'll back that truck up a sec.

Let's spin the clock back, let's say, around two hours ago?

-o0o-

Sephiroth had woken up believing today would be normal, like any other.

Yesterday's meeting had gone surprisingly well, Keith had his usual mug of root beer, eyes flicking to the scientific papers Hojo and the janitor had spread across their laps. The other executives in the room were all too happy to leave the two masterminds of chaos and discord to their crazy mumbo jumbo, not wanting to incur Keith's wrath after the last prison escape.

No one wanted to know what Hollander planned to do with a Grand Horn.

Keith had been humming though, after the meeting. Not like an absent minded humming when one was bored, but one that indicated a happy mood due to expecting something good in the future.

Keith had brushed of his inquiry by saying that an old friend of his was dropping by soon, so he was happy to see them again.

Knowing Keith, the man wouldn't crack under any form of interrogation, so he left the matter at that.

But today, certainly wasn't a normal day.

Sephiroth knew Zack had an infatuation with a SOLDIER cadet, who had also won the affection of both Keith and Reno. He himself had seen the cadets records, the boy wasn't too shabby but was prone to bullying. However, Keith's gift of the fluff – ball had sorted that issue out for the Nibelhelm boy.

And like all other SOLDIER cadets, the boy probably had an infatuation with him, being the General of SOLDIER.

The few times he had met the blonde haired cadet, he had seen obvious hero worship in those large sky blue eyes (which were sometimes eerily similar to Keith's own), but right now, he was rather concerned to why the cadet in question was sitting in the SOLDER 1st Class longue and drinking a can of root beer.

Keith was the only other person in the Tower that actually drank the stuff, so the can had to have come from Keith's office.

"Good morning General."

Jolted out of his thoughts, Sephiroth eyed the cadet warily.

There was something . . . off about his behaviour.

"Good morning. I suppose you accessed the longue via the ventilation shafts?"

Sephiroth really needed to ask Keith if the Tower security was compromised in that regard, but his blonde friend merely dodged the question every single time it was brought up.