here comes the sun//phan

secret for the mad

"Well, how are you feeling this week, Mr. Howell?" 

I briefly looked up from my hands. "I don't fucking know anymore." Annalise looked at me and sighed. "You have to know. That's why you're here." She scribbled something down on her clipboard. "I'm tired. I haven't slept in six months. I'm an insomniac. I don't eat. There's no reason to. I don't leave my flat. I have no friends." She pouted. "I'm sorry to hear. Have you been going to the support group I recommended?" I shook my head. "I had a panic attack and couldn't make it, sorry to interrupt your schedule." She smirked. "Why the hell are you smiling at me like that?" She stood up, lightly tossing the clipboard on her desk. "Well, Daniel-" "Dan." I cut her off. "Okay. Dan," She continued. "I've been your therapist for half a year now, and I've noticed you are not a very social butterfly." "Obviously." "Well, my nephew is visiting from Rawtenstall, and maybe you two could have coffee tomorrow. He's around your age." I rolled my eyes. "Why are you being nice to me, Annalise? Why would he want to hang out with a loser like me?" She sighed again. "I'm sure he would be pleased to. I can let you go early tonight so you try eating tonight." I grabbed my phone and stood up. "Okay, so where are you going to tell your nephew to meet me at?" She looked at her phone. "I can give you his number-" "How about Starbucks at 11:30? The one near the shops." She nodded. "I'll tell him to meet you there. See you next Thursday, Daniel." I gave her a fake smile, "Dan." I closed the door behind me. I put my jacket on and walked out on the cold London streets. It was freezing, probably the coldest this week. My flat wasn't that far from Annalise's, so my usual transport is myself. I don't know why she was being so nice to me. I'm just another one of her mentally unstable patients who don't have anyone to talk to. I reached my building and walked up the what seemed endless flight of stairs. Once I reached my floor, I started to cry. It was usual for me, but not these tears. I stumbled into the dark apartment and looked at the clock. It was only 17:13. That's when it all came crashing down on me. Tomorrow I have the chance of making a friend. Maybe actually the chance of talking to people again and not just myself. But what if I fuck it up? I'll probably fuck it up. I felt my breaths begin to speed up. I slowly felt my body shake, starting slowly and then speeding up to if I was experiencing a earthquake. My chest started to hurt as I slid to the ground, grabbing the soft carpet for support. My vision began to blur. Was I dying? Thank god, finally. My breaths started to shorten, as I felt myself zone out, the only sounds a light buzz and the pat of my tears hitting the carpet.

-no point of view-

"I come here to see you, out of my own will matter of fact, and you are making me hang out with one of your freaky patients!" Phil screamed, tossing his luggage on the bed. "Phil, don't say that. Dan is so sweet, and the issue he has is with himself. I feel like that you are able to change that." Annalise spoke, voice light. Phil rolled his eyes. "How? Tell me." She bit her lip. "He just needs a friend. And, he previously told me that he was gay. And maybe since that you and Chris broke up-" Phil laughed. "Yeah, that I'll hook up with someone from your psycho ward. Totally." She sighed. "Phil, just be the nice person you are to him. I know you are just angry about your parents and-" Phil threw his laptop against the pillow. "Yeah, I don't think that I would be pretty happy after my mum is in the hospital because my fucking messed up Dad! You should have made him go on the date with the mental patient!" Annalise felt her anger raise. "You are going to meet with that sad boy tomorrow at 11:30! He just wants someone to talk to! I bet he's having a panic attack right now!" Phil sighed. "Aw, poor thing. Maybe I will go. Cheer him up. What'd you say his name was?" Annalise smiled. "Dan." Phil laughed. "Cute. I'm sorry I flipped out, it's just stress and my parents." She threw a bag of crisps at Phil. "It's all good. Are you sure that's all the food you want? I can make you something." Phil nodded. "That's fine. I ate earlier." She walked out of the room and Phil opened his laptop. Dan. Funny that was his name to. He logged on to skype and saw that his other friend, Dan, was unavailable. He was always on this time. He waited a few minutes before logging out. Dan always disappeared after two hours, so maybe he went to bed early tonight. Before watching youtube for a few more hours, Phil thought about the boy he was going to meet tomorrow. Maybe he needs some help. Maybe he needs some friends. Just like Phil does.