07; Baby Steps

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Two months has passed and I am walking.

I'm barely walking and just like what Jimin said, I am taking baby steps.

"Well why don't you look at that, my Eunji is walking!" I felt irritated by the sound of his teasing voice.

"Shut up I'm trying to concentrate," I hissed and took a couple more steps forward. I was gripping so hard on the handles that I thought it was going to snap.

Jimin smirked and sat on the ground, waiting for me to finish my session. I could tell he was bored since he was playing with the strands of his long hair. His hair was dyed black now and he looked paler and skinnier than usual. Everytime time moved forward, he gets weaker. I'm afraid that everything will be too late so I try to quicken my recovery.

I felt beads of sweat rolling down my temples and my breathing becoming shallow. I could sense Jimin's worried gaze behind my head.

"Ms. Kim, would you like to finish this session?" My therapy asked.

I shook my head, "No."

I could hear the sound of Jimin's sighing in the background.

"I want to keep going."

"Your session was over 30 minutes ago, overworking yourself won't quicken your recovery."

I paused abruptly. For some reason I felt anger bubbling in my chest. Not because what she said was true, but because she did not understand.

Jimin was giving me a chance to live. He is giving me a second life. Jimin is dying and he isn't going to go back in time to avoid his cruel fate. Why? Because of me.

My road to recovery.

"Let her do another thirty minutes doc," Jimin pleaded.

She hesitated and reluctantly let me keep going.

"Thank you," I smiled.

I walked back and forth 15 times before my 30 minutes was up.

"Now sit down, you're making me nervous." Jimin lead me to my wheelchair. He held me tightly.

"I'm nervous too," he smelled nice and comforting.

"About what?" He asked me. We bowed as we left the room.

"You. Me. Us. Everything."

He held my hand, "So am I."

His hands were cold unlike the usual. It hurt to be touched by him. I wrapped my fingers around his small hands, trying to warm them.

"Why are you such in a hurry to get better?" He crouched down in front of me and placed a hand on my cheek.

"There's so much to do. I feel like I'm wasting time." I held his hand.

He laughed, "Everything is going to be fine."

Fine. A word that is also full of lies. I can see the wild fire in his eyes like the time we escaped to the garden. The fire was dangerous, calculated, overwhelming. He was hiding something from me.

"What would you like to do today?" He walked behind me and pushed me down the hall.

I shrugged. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do so I pulled out Jimin's list of excitement from my pocket.

"You ripped a page from my notebook?" Jimin whined.

I rolled my eyes and handed Jimin the paper, "I rewrote some of the things you wrote. Honestly it was so hard to read your writing."

He placed his hands over his heart, gasping loudly. His antics were amusing, "My handwriting is not ugly at all."

We walked silently throughout the journey to wherever. I glanced back at Jimin whowas walking aimlessly, looking blankly at the windows.

"Let's go to the garden." I suggested.

He blinked out of his trance, "Garden?"

I nodded, "Yeah, let's have a walk."

He understood what I wanted and took me to our safe haven. This time we rushed our way to the garden. Time is precious. I don't want to make the same mistakes I did in the past. A happy ending is what I'm hoping for.

I just want a normal life.

A life with Jimin.

I'm tired of us chasing each other to find love. I'm tired of our fate, destined to break us apart. For the years I've wasted, getting better was the only way to repay him.

I don't deserve him.

The world doesn't deserve him.

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