Poldark: Saving Ross and Demelza

Can we Survive the storm?

Demelza could feel the brisk air and frosty raindrops against her skin, her throat was coarse and each breath felt like daggers to her chest.
Strands of hair fell across her face in wet ringlets, blowing haphazardly in the wind. She burrowed her face away instinctively. She felt disorientated, in a daze, the world seemed lopsided, she couldn't make anything out, the world around her immensely dark.
Her senses started to come back to her,her arms cradled beneath her she moved her hands slightly and felt the comfort of Darkie's main against her palms and entwined in her fingers. A familiar motion set in, instinctively bracing her legs in time with his gallops.
Still confused as to how she got here , large waves of pain began to throb in her head, down her spine and mostly a deep ache in her heart. Demelza began to will her body to sit up, but she couldn't find the strength. Frustrated she shifted, then she felt another familiar sensation. Ross now aware that she had stirred, still had his arm tightly around her, his body cradled over her , using himself to shield her from the storm , instinctively protective. Lovingly he whispered in her ear , "we are nearly home, I have you , you can rest," with that he kissed the top of her ear. Demelza kept awake, listening to the rain pour down, still not quite sure of how Ross had saved her from the watery grave she had found herself in. He always saved her, her heart ached, the love and loathing she felt for the same man overwhelmed her.
She felt the horse slow, and the wind and rain calm around them.
Flickers of light from the windows, cast shadows as they entered the courtyard of Nampara, she could barely keep her eyes open, yet she heard the sound of horse hooves on hay underfoot and as Ross pulled Darkie and Verity's horse to a halt. Ross gently dismounted, " stay still my love, I will need to unlace these straps to get you down."
" Ross why am I.... " tied on? barely a scratch of a whisper escaped her mouth she couldn't finish her words.
Ross tended to the other horse then came back to Darkie.
Ross carefully unwound the straps, he had tied her in place in such haste, there were knots all over. " Judas!" Frustrated Ross grabbed a shearing knife from the stable wall and cut the straps loose.
" can you hold onto me?" Ross asked trying to not give away his reaction as he saw the many bruises now appearing along Demelza's frame. the worry of the blood stains still framing her face. It greatly pained him to see her hurt.
Demelza nodded, her guard up not knowing how to read him, she felt like she was 15 again,that he was judging her, just like he did when she had fallen out of the tree. She carefully lifted her arms, tentatively wrapping them around his neck as he embraced her, she winced, the aching and throbbing hit in giant waves. She bit her lip shut. I will not show my pain she thought. She noticed Ross' sleeve bloodstained and torn, at the remains of her dress in sodden bunches of fabric.
Both of them, internally questioning How had the evening ended up like this?
Ross carried Demelza into the house, the servants had gone to bed, the house was silent, surely Jeremy was sleeping soundly.
He sat Demelza down on the rug next to fire, he poked at the remaining coal, encouraging the embers to ignite, lighting the candles nearest to them.  Flames licked around the fire again.
Demelza felt so sick, she held her head in her hands, Ross cupped his hands around hers. They stared at each other, deep into one another's eyes, as if peering into their souls. Tears glistened in both of their eyes. Ross kissed Demelza's forehead. Her skin was hot against his lips.
Demelza could feel herself ebbing away, the dizziness overwhelming, she could hide it no longer, her stubborness giving in to the caring eyes looking back at her, "Ross.." she croaked. " I feel ahh the pain, my head it is causing me so much pain, and I can scarcely breathe without it hurting." the dizziness overwhelming her she moved to lye down.
"No my love, you must not sleep, take off your wet clothes, I will help you. " Ross saw how much effort it took for her to move just her arms. He helped her and found a dry night shirt for her. He examined the main gash to her head the blood still slowly oozing out, not alarmingly but enough that he was sure it would need stitches. He went to the cupboard and got out a fresh linen sheet " no Ross not my fresh sheets!" stubborn woman! Ross thought to himself, only she would be thinking of chores at her own expense. Scrumpling it up he passed it to her ignoring her comment, " hold this to your head and apply pressure,you know it help to stop the bleeding" Both of their thoughts trailing back to the night they saved Francis from the bullet. "Stay in the warm, I must send for Dr Enys... and Demelza, stay awake I saw too many men not wake up after a blow to the head in the war " Ross regretted his statement not wishing to alarm her; he knew he was being distant in his speech but inside he was struggling to hold back the lump in his throat. He had to detach himself emotionally if they were both to survive this storm.
Ross woke John, who was all to obliging to  help, he rode off into the night for Dr Enys. Fortunately the storm had eased to a gentle drizzling over the moors.
Ross drew water and heated in on the stove, he found fresh towling, and a bowl. He felt the chill of the night, forgetting he hadn't changed into dry clothes himself, quickly did so, checking on Jeremy sleeping cozily in his cot, then went back downstairs to Demelza.
Demelza had slumped over sat up, her head resting sideways on her knees. Her eyes closed.
" Demelza, " Ross rushed over to her. " Demelza" he  shook her shoulders,  "Come now, you mustn't give in, be strong"..
"Wake, my love" he lifted her head, her skin was burning , not just from being by the fire, but clammy,  her fever rising . "Demelza, wake up, open your eyes, you mustn't sleep my love.."
Demelza could hear Ross, but he felt so far away. Whilst he had been out of the room the pull to sleep had been so strong, she relented and the force to close her eyes had won over. you musn't sleep my love she willed her eyes open.
Ross saw as her eyes opened and closed briefly, she mumbled, "I.. Ross.. I.. can't..." " Demelza, please listen to me, you need to stay with me," her eyes opened again. "Keep looking at me, " Ross urged. "Keep focused." she tried she focused on his face. His war-torn face, and followed the curve of his scar. The nausea was returning, and the room began to spin, and float, around her.
" The room its spinning" She distorted in his arms, closing her eyes and scrunching up into ball " make it stop" " please make it stop" " oh my head" she threw her hand up her face. Ross didn't know what to do, what could he do? The blow to her head had obliviously caused more damage than realized.
He prayed Dwight would be of haste. He cradled her " I know, Demelza, be calm, calm your heart, I am here, you are strong, fight it, its not real. " He could feel the fear in his wife's body, and see it in her face.
He remembered again the last time he had seen her like this, the dreaded Putrid throat. The memories tearing at his mind, when he thought he would lose both his child and wife in one night. He could lose her now.
He lay her down scared she may fall if he left her sat up, and retrieved the bowl of warm water and alcohol. He offered her the brandy wine to help with the pain. She drank it willingly, looking for relief.
He gently tended her wounds. Demelza slowly in and out of conversation " Keep talking my love, stay with me" Demelza, could hear his soothing words, laying down eased the pains in her head. The alcohol numbing the outside and the brandy wine warming her and calming her from within. The thumping continued but at a more steady beat rather than a full orchestrated band. Her cognition returning. It felt like time stood still, just them together, fighting off the darkness that threatened to pull her back under. Hours had past,and the first signs of the morning had began to appear, the sky beginning to rise from pitch black to a grey mal, still cloudy and fog covering the ground. With Demelza now settling , Ross cleaned up his arm, exhausted, and took a large wig of brandy," How do you feel?" he turned back to her.
"I dare know Ross.. I feel foolish, embarrassed.. sore.. exhausted... and... betrayed." The last word cut the room like a knife.
" Demelza, you must know, I never intended.." Ross guilt-ridden, with the rest of the events that had followed hence, he had almost forgotten what had caused his wife to go riding off in the night to begin with.
" Not now Ross, please " Demelza interrupted. "Just hold me."
He nodded in acquiesce, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the shoulder. Demelza closed her eyes, happy for the comfort, yet saddened by the words between them yet to be said.
" I just want you to know," Ross pleaded again. Demelza opened her eyes at his insistance, allowing him this time to speak.
Ross went to continue.
With that Dwight walked in; they both looked up. " Well, it looks like you are in good hands Demelza," smiling at them unaware of the circumstance.
They both returned the smile, " Shall we just check you over," with that Dwight examined Demelza's head, surface wounds and bruises. He smiled and encouraged her to wait a while whilst he spoke to Ross.
Over at the table, looking in his bag he selected a few jars of herbs and natural rubs, as well as needle and thread. Ross moved over to him, "Well?" he quizzed. " I believe she is suffering from mild concussion, her symtptoms clearly marry up. I would recommend bed rest for 3 days. Not only for physical rest, but also limit her mentally. Her brain has taken a beating, as it were, it needs to repair inside just as much as her body does outside. Most of all however, talking of the outside, though you did the right thing cleaning her head wound as much as possible it needs stitches to lessen chance of infection, as you saw for yourself the cuts go quite deep are you happy for me to continue?" " Of course, Dwight, please how can I help?" " We will need to move her into the bedroom, she will need plenty of rest afterwards."
Ross looked over at Demelza, unaware of the conversation they were having. He knew that all of this was his fault, yet again he had put his needs and wants above hers and it was her paying the price. He vowed in that moment to correct himself and be a better husband; after all the women staring back at him was the only woman now filling up his heart. Of that at least he was sure, what he wasnt sure of was if she still felt the same for him.
He was transfixed in the thought of this, when she stared back at him, " So, Ross.." she asked.
" My love, you aren't going to like what I have to say very much." " What is new there?" she joked. He smiled, only she could joke at a time like this, but he heard the slight shake in her voice, using humour to hide her fear.
Ross explained what needed to be done, Demelza, terrified of needles, not once had she needed anything of the sort during either of her pregnancies. She laughed to herself I'd rather give birth again than face a needle. she knew however she did not want to face any sort of infection again, especially after the putrid throat. "Demelza?" Ross confused by her sudden outburst.
" Yes Ross, I understand" A little distant she took Dwight's hand and his and carefully made her way upstairs. The birds had began to sing and the sun was just peaking over the hills, burning through the cloud mass.
" I must see Jeremy first," Ross nodded understanding her reasoning. After all, with Julia she hadn't gotten a chance to say goodbye. He worried she thought her condition a lot worse than it was, however he did not stop her.
they entered their bedroom, Jeremy stirred at the creaks in the floor boards as walked over to him.
" Good Morning my darling," she cooed. Jeremy turned, " Mm, mm, " Jeremy smiled brightly and nuzzled into her, with his arms outstretched for her, he gurgled, she picked him up weakly, and hugged him to her. " I love you more than anything, " Demelza, whispered as she hugged him tightly, stroking the tiny curls than had began to sprout in at the back of his head.
Ross watched the exchange in pure love. Not jealous of the bond between, proud to see what an amazing mother Demelza was, another thing he had taken for granted of late. Another pang of guilt washed over him.
Demelza, kissed Jeremy once more before handing him to Ross. " Go to papa,".
Ross smiled , hiding his internal feelings. "Good Morning my son, what a happy boy you are, and so loved too " he snuggled him into the nap of his neck. Demelza felt warmth building inside her looking at the child she had born to Ross, and Ross' joy. Yet, still questioning that it was not enough. She sighed.
Jane appeared at the door. " Good morning , Miss, Sirs"
" Jane please take Jeremy for breakfast, and tend to him today , Demelza and I have had a rather traumatic night, and Demelza will be seen to by Dr Dwight for the rest of the day " Ross asked.
"Yes sir, pray, I do hope you know if anything happens again, you must feel you could wake me, I do apologise for not realising your return, and your plight," Jane looked saddened and worried.
" Tis not your fault Jane, we were fine, John was sent for Dwight, no harm has been done, please continue with Jeremy, that it all." Ross finished.
" Yes Sir," Turning to Demelza" Maam. " Curtsied and took Jeremy off downstairs. As soon as Jeremy left the room, Demelza gave in the aching in her body, no longer sitting up tall to appear strong in front of her son, Ross saw her change,
" Right , shall we get you comfortable Demelza, are you ready?" Dwight said.
Sighing, there is no way out of this she thought. " Yes Dwight, do your worst ," she joked.
They moved her over to the bed, propping her up with pillows. Dwight prepared the thread and licked the edge of scissors in the flame of the candle now lit on the bedside table.
Ross, turned away.
Demelza thought he was about to leave the room, " Ross, please stay," her need for him there in her fear outweighed her feelings of betrayal.
Ross moved round to the other side of the bed, he brushed her hair out of her face, " I am never leaving you, not whilst Dwight fixes you up, nor tomorrow, nor the next day, my place is by your side, both now and every day until you tell me not to be." he entwined her fingers in his and kissed the back of her hand. He rode after me, he saved me, he could have left me, but he is here... and I am glad. she smiled and nodded in acceptance. "I will let you know when I have had enough of you Ross, " She goaded. He laughed into her hand and kissed it once more.
Dwight inter jected, " Right, I must first, clear the hair from around the cut," at that Demelza felt strands of Salt dried ringlets fall down into her lap. Her nerves beginning to show.
Ross mouthed ," It will be right," and grasped her hand a little tighter. They had survived the storm,he thought, how could he show in such affirmation how wrong his actions were last night. As he watched as Demelza, strong and bullish, faced her fears; he wondered could he sew back together the wounds he had inflicted on her heart , piece by piece?
He was determined to do so.