it still beats

Chapter 14: Without You

Finn was extremely anxious for his return to New York. It has been so long since he was home. It had been so long since he had seen his wife. His wife. He missed her so much. The way she would smile at him with her big brown eyes when they woke up or the way she'd place a gentle kiss on his lips every night before drifting to sleep, cuddling into his body. Finn had missed the warmth of her petite figure pressed into his every evening. It had actually been hard to fall asleep for the first week of tour. Everything just felt so odd without seeing her when he woke up or feeling her in his arms in bed. He couldn't help the appearance of a small crooked smile at the thought.

If she's still your wife when you get home. The thought hit him. Could Rachel still be furious with him? He hadn't heard anything since his last phone call with Blaine, where he revealed that Rachel had won a new role. His stomach immediately did a flip, as anxiety spread throughout his body. If she truly still despised him for his actions, as her slap had demonstrated, then he would need to get used to the empty bed. Finn just couldn't let that happen. He would fight. He just couldn't bear completely losing her. The tour had been quite the distraction. It had diverted his thoughts enough so that he had not spent the two months lying in bed, but she had still been on his mind for the full duration of the trip. Thoughts of the last moment he saw her, the look of anger and despair etched clear across her face, always caused a small tear to roll down his cheek. He couldn't believe that he had caused such a beautiful thing so much pain. The only thing that kept him sane was the idea that Rachel had heard the song. He hoped that she would be thinking. She had probably made a decision by now and he would have to face it within moments.

"We are here sir," said the taxi driver, interrupting Finn's thoughts.

"Oh, thanks man," responded Finn, returning to reality.

He pulled out his wallet, handed the man his fare, and shuffled out of the taxi. The man got out of the car and took Finn's luggage out of the trunk. He handed it to him, gave him a small smile and jumped back into the car, driving away. This left Finn standing there, his suitcases at his feet, staring up at the building before him. He looked up at the tall structure towering over him, allowing a small gulp to escape.

You can do this, Finn. Just go in there and fight. You've done it before and you can do it again.

With that thought in mind, he lifted up his bags and headed for the doors. Finn could feel his breathing and heart rate speeding up as he got into the elevator and the numbers slowly went up. He got closer and closer; his armpits getting sweatier by the second. He didn't understand why he was so nervous. It didn't take long before he was stepping out his elevator and approaching his front door step. Finn pulled out his keys, dropping his suitcases to the ground. He extended his arm and slowly inserted his lock, turning it gently. The anticipation was building, the longer he took. Finally, he swung the door open and prepared for what was to come.

Nothing. It was completely silent.

"Rachel?" called out Finn, curious yet nervous at the silence.

Again, nothing.

He brought his bags in and began searching the apartment. She was clearly not in the living room or kitchen, so he headed for the bedroom. Finn knocked on the door before entering. Receiving no response, he swung the door opening revealing an empty bedroom. Something was wrong. Everything was thrown at the room, the bed not done up and clothes on the ground. Rachel was a neat freak and always had their room in order. She had always mentioned to him that only pigs lived in pig sties, and that we shouldn't, which is why she had constantly forced him to pick up after himself.

Finn left the room and rushed into the bathroom. He had expected the door to be locked, but it also swung right open. Again, the room was empty. Where was she? Finn couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible had happened. What else could it be? That's when an idea struck him. A note. Rachel left notes whenever she was going out and he wasn't home. Maybe she left him one? He was sure that she knew he was coming back today.