Ariela

                                                                Ariela

Feeling like you are dying is the worst feeling in the world. Knowing that the blood leaving from your body is killing you. Hearing your love ones screaming at you to come back but you can’t move, function, or open your eyes to at least see them one last time.

God. I just want to see my mother one last time. Just to see her smile, her eyes, her face, and tell her that I am fine and happy. I knew what I did was wrong but I had to leave or Frank would have killed me. I want to tell her that I found someone and tell her that his Toby and I like him a lot. He makes me feel safe in a way that I’ve never felt with anyone before.

I want to tell her that Gabriel had been hitting me. I want to show her the cuts and bruises on my body that he gives me if I don’t sell drugs for money.

But the thing is that I can never tell my mother anything ever again. I can never taste her delicious cooked meals again. I can never hear the sound of her laughter my father makes fun of her bottle cap collection. She can never brush my hair ever again just like she used to do when I was a little girl. I can never see my little brother grow up and go to high school and college, so he can be a doctor.

I can never hear anyone in my family say, ‘I love you’ because I am dying. I can feel my soul coming out of my body every minute. I see a bright light shining at me and I knew if I followed it I could die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to give up on myself. I don’t want to see my love ones mourn over my death when I’m in the afterlife watching over them.

I could hear things again. I could hear the ambulance sirens blaring as they get closer and closer the louder it become.

“Ariela. Please wake up!” I hear Toby scream.

I want to do as he says, but I can’t. I feel like I am paralyzed, but I can hear everything that goes around me. I just want to get up and tell Toby that I am fine and I’m going to come back.

The pain in my stomach was becoming fainter. It was there, but I couldn’t feel it. I feel my soul drifting away from me. My breathing becomes shorter and slower. I knew that I was going to die. The bright light was coming closer and I tried to not follow it but it was too memorizing.

It’s just that want to be with Toby in his arms and finally kiss him for the first time. Right before I passed out I almost kissed him. I should have forgotten the pain and just kissed Toby. I regret it now, because I just want him and no one else. I want my family and Toby here by my side. We all run away to Kanas or whatever and have peace by our side, but I knew that it couldn’t happen now.

The last thing I could hear before I went away was, “Don’t worry miss. We will help you.”

Then I drifted off into space and I didn’t know where I was. I don’t know if I’m sleeping or dreaming this, but all I knew is that I’m in a place where it looks like those fairytale story books.

I see a big castle and I walked towards it wondering if it’s heaven or hell.