Now And Then

I remember. Now, I remember how it felt Then. Four years ago you were all that mattered, you were everything to me. I would gaze at you and see all the magic in this world, you made me feel like something as unattainable as real magic, actually existed. You stopped my breath and helped me breathe all at the same time. Just looking at you made me feel like I was in a world filled with nothing but bright colors and glittering souls. Simply put you gave me a happiness that I had never known. I loved you.

Now days, it's different. It's been four years since I last saw you and some how you still ignite a flame in my heart. You still make me believe in magic but when I look into your eyes the spiral of that old spell no longer lingers in them. They are faded and stern like life's worn out rhythm has taken over the siren song that once echoed in the depths of the  brown color. But this can't be, right? You are still the same spell caster you always were. What changed?

Now that I think of it. Life has done what it must. It has taken your years, made you older. But life is not gentle or considerate with this inevitable task. Life took all of which made you wide eyed and magical. It took the innocence and the joy, only to replace it with realization and the notion that there is far too much evil in this world for there to be room for magic. Now all that is left is the remains of a boy I once loved who took hold of life's hand and turned into a man.

Now as I think about Then, I know why Peter Pan refused to grow up. He wanted nothing more than to keep his magic. To never forget what it was like to soar amongst the stars, to hover so close to the heavens. I remember loving you but it's not the same as loving you. Now is it? You grew up, and now my heart is stuck loving the memory of magic you wove into my life all those years ago.