What The Heart Craves (Complete)

Chapter 9 - Part 1

Lacey

Aiden's doctor was an old guy with gray hair and glasses. He was friendly, and he calmed my nerves that had been building for the last couple of days.

With a concentrated expression, he asked me a few questions, and then he leaned back in his chair, looking at me. "I don't want to waste your time, so I'm going to refer you to a specialist."

Specialist. My fear spiked.

"Is that necessary?" I asked, I found a deep sense of foreboding form inside of me.

"Unfortunately, I'm limited with the tests that I can run, and a specialist will do a more thorough check than I can." He reached for a notepad and paper on his desk.

It was hard to keep myself from freaking out. It wasn't like I hadn't thought that it might happen, but that it was amplifying all the fears I'd been experiencing since I'd fainted.

He scribbled on the notepad and then tore off the paper. Seeing my obvious fear, his eyes softened as he handed me the paper. "This doesn't mean its something serious."

I nodded as I gripped the paper in my hand. I took a deep breath and released it. Panic hovered just below the surface, threatening to overtake everything.

Outside his office, Aiden was sitting in the waiting room. He got up and walked out with me.

"Everything okay?" He walked beside me out of the building and into the car park.

"Yes." I nodded, trying to keep it together.

I couldn't even try to figure out how I was going to go see the specialist without Aiden becoming more suspicious. I didn't want to involve my family either.

Once Aiden dropped me off, I went straight upstairs to my room to collect myself before I had to face my family. I sat down at my laptop and googled the specialist to see where his office was. When I found a bus route to the specialist, I felt a little better. I could take the bus to see him, which meant no one had to know.

It was better to get it over and done with. It scared me that if I didn't call to make an appointment now, I would let my fear keep me from getting myself checked out. A friendly receptionist answered. He was a busy doctor, so it would take a week before I could see him.

An entire week, seven days, it would feel like forever.

I went into my bathroom and splashed some water on my face to pull myself together. As I dried my face, I looked at my reflection. Did I look like someone who was sick? I thought I looked healthy, but that might not be the case. Taking a deep breath, I held it for a moment and expelled it, trying to rid myself of the negative emotions.

Staying positive was the only way I was going to keep it from everyone and there only way I could keep it together until I saw the specialist.

But it was easier said than done, with Adonis watching on me all the time. Even at the dinner table, I had to keep my eyes from meeting his. It scared me he could see what I was trying to hide.

"Are you okay?" My mom noticed my somber mood.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." I set my fork down. I lifted my eyes to meet hers and she gave me a soft smile.

"You haven't eaten much," she said, and I looked down to my plate. She was right, I'd been picking at my food for the last half an hour. I had little appetite. Balls of nervous knots hadn't left enough space for food in my stomach.

I could feel the burn of Adonis' eyes on me, but I refused to look his way.

"I'm just not that hungry." I shrugged. Despite my best attempts to keep my fears to myself, I felt like I was failing miserably.

"I think I just need an early night," I told my mom, giving her my biggest smile to hide my genuine feelings.

"Okay baby." She still looked concerned.

I got out of there as fast as I could. Once inside the safety of my room, I felt a wave of the emotions I'd been smothering since I'd been to the doctor. My hands clamped over my mouth as a sob tore from me. I felt scared. Tears slipped down my cheek as I sat down on my bed, trying to keep myself from crying too loud in case someone heard me. She might come up to check up on me.

My sobs turned to whimpers as my tears slowed. I wiped the tears from my cheeks as my emotions eased. I felt tired, but I felt a little better that I'd had a cry, so I had a quick shower before I went to bed.

Even though I felt exhausted, sleep eluded me. I lay in the dark staring up at the ceiling trying to cope with the fact that something terrible could be wrong with me and nothing could fix it.

It was hard to hold on to the hope that it could be something small that some medicine would take care of. I was a born worrier, so there was no chance I wouldn't worry until I found out from the specialist what was wrong with me.

Just a few weeks ago I worried about what I was going to do with the rest of my life, and now I worried if I would even have a future to live.

I tossed and turned for most of the night, and the next morning I was even more tired. I could have called in sick to work, but I needed something to keep my mind busy. If I stayed at home, all I would do is spend every moment thinking about my migraines and the specialist.

Being at work was hard. I struggled to concentrate on what I had to do. I forgot orders and got a couple of tables confused.

Jax pulled me aside half way through my shift.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah... I'm fine," I told him. "I just can't seem to concentrate today."

"We all have off days," he said.

At the end of the day I was tired, and I could feel a headache starting up. It didn't surprise me. With all the stress, I'd been expecting it.

It didn't help that when I stepped out of the restaurant instead of my mom's car, there stood Adonis' car. I wasn't in the mood for another one of his concerned conversations.

Feeling my mood darken, I walked immediately to the vehicle. Even though I was tired and knew I was in for another lecture with him, I couldn't help the flutter inside of me when his eyes connected with mine.

"Hi." I got into his car.

"Hi," he said. "Your mom was running late and asked me to pick you up."

"Thanks." I tried to keep my tone light and free of my resentment to seeing him.

He started up the car and pulled out of the carpark. I felt his eyes on me and I gave him a side glance.

"You look a little pale," he said with concern.

"I'm getting a headache." I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the headrest, trying to relax.

He was quiet for the rest of the journey, and I was glad that I didn't have to listen to another lecture.

Once we arrived at my house, I opened the door. The pounding in my head was worsening. Adonis followed me into my house and he watched as I found my migraine medication and filled a glass with some water. Under his watchful gaze, I swallowed two of the tablets.

"I'm going to lie down," I said. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he seemed to change his mind.

"Sure." He watched me leave the kitchen.

He'd had been acting weird around me. It was like he wanted to say something to me and then at the last minute he would stop himself. There was something up with him.

My mind couldn't concentrate on anything but what I'd discover when I went to the specialist. Aiden's doctor had called the specialist for me and gave him my initial reports so he could schedule the tests. The sooner I found out what was wrong with me, the better.