What The Heart Craves (Complete)

Chapter 9 - Part 2

Lacey

The day before my appointment, I was a bundle of nerves. I'd swapped shifts at work so I wouldn't have to work that day or the next. The more nervous I got, the more I seemed to stuff up at work, so I stayed home.

Reece had called me twice today, but I'd been avoiding her.

She knew me better than anyone else, and she knew there was something wrong.

The house was quiet. I was on my own. Everyone was out, and I was trying to keep myself occupied with some reading, but after reading the same page three times I still did not know what was going on, so I gave up and went into the kitchen.

The doorbell rang, and I frowned. I hadn't been expecting anyone and when I opened the door to find Adonis I was a little surprised to see him.

"Alex isn't here," I told him.

"I know. I need to talk to you," he said.

"As long as it isn't another lecture."

He shook his head, and I shrugged. If it wasn't about that, then the least I would do was listen to what he had to say. I'd successfully avoided the conversation about our kiss. Was that what he wanted to talk about? Suddenly, I felt a little nervous.

Stepping back, I allowed him in. He followed me into the living room. I sat down as he ran a hand through his hair, but he didn't sit down. Instead, he stood in front of me looking agitated. It was so weird to see him like this. He was always confident and self-assured.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked when the silence stretched.

"How close are you and Aiden?" he said, and I frowned. I hadn't expected that.

"We're close." It wasn't a lie, but I was sure he would take it entirely a different way.

I wasn't sure why I wouldn't come clean and tell him we were just friends. Maybe I wanted him to think I'd moved on. It was better than being loser who was still in love with him. He shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans while he studied me for a moment.

"I know this is none of my business, but I need to ask you something," he said. "Are you being careful?"

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about." I frowned.

He let out a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Are you and Aiden being 'careful'?" he asked.

When my mind registered what he was saying, my mouth dropped open in shock. Of all the things I'd expected, I hadn't expected that.

It took me a few moments as he watched me to get over the shock. I stood up, feeling angry that he'd asked me something like that.

"You have no right to ask me a question like that." I struggled to keep my temper under control. It shocked me, he thought Aiden, and I were that close.

"I just want to make sure that you don't make a mistake that you will have to live with for the rest of your life."

I put my hands on my hips as I glared at him. "I have a brother already, Gray, and I don't need another one." This was the type of behavior I expected from Alex, not from his best friend.

"Is it so bad that I care and I don't want you to make a stupid mistake?" He shrugged.

"Yes. You need to stop meddling in my life," I yelled at him and his jaw twitched as he clenched it closed.

He was like family, but he wasn't my older brother. Come to think of it, I wouldn't allow my brother to meddle either.

There was no way I was going to tell him I'd never been with anyone before. It wasn't something he needed to know.

I didn't want him to play the protective brother role. The role I wanted him to play in my life he didn't want. I wanted him to be that person who loved me, but he didn't.

Exasperated with him, I gave him one more glare before I stormed out of the living room. I don't know how long he stood there before he walked out because later I came down and he had left.

Alex went to his house that evening so I didn't see him again.

It took me a while to let go of my anger. That he thought I needed to be on the pill cemented the knowledge that he thought I was dating Aiden. Well, he thought, I was doing a lot more than just hanging out with him.

The next day I took the bus to the specialist. Nervously, I sat in the waiting room until the receptionist showed me to his office.

He was a younger than I expected. I don't know why I expected someone much older.

He smiled and tried to make me feel at ease while he went through the information the doctor had sent him. I patiently answered his questions as best as I could.

I was disappointed to find out he wouldn't be able to tell me anything immediately. He would need to run some tests and he would need to see me in a couple of days to go over the results.

Disappointment flooded through me at the thought of two more days of agonizing waiting.

It was hard to go home and keep my worry hidden from the loved ones around me. I was also a terrible actress, so it was easier to just avoid everyone instead of trying to act like everything was fine.

Two days later, I got a call in the morning. The specialist asked me to come in to see him. That should have been the first sign that something was very wrong.

I called Jax and swapped my shift with someone else so I could take the day off. I was a bundle of nerves when I got on the bus. Every scenario of what he would say cycled through my mind and by the time I got to his office I was a nervous wreck with the fear suffocating me from the inside.

His receptionist ushered me straight into his office. He tried to smile at me as I sat down across from him, but I could see his smile didn't reach his eyes. It was the second sign.

"I've gotten the results of the tests," he informed me. I held my breath.

It was only seconds for him to reveal what was wrong with me. It took only seconds for my life to change completely.

In shock I tried to listen to everything he said, but it was hard when I all I could think that what he'd told me had been the worst scenario I'd imagined and I was living it.

"Do you need me to call someone?" the doctor asked with concern.

"No... I'm okay." I gave him a weak smile because there was no way I was fine. Fine was very far away from where I was now.

Someone. I'd kept it from everyone. He did not know that no one knew I was here.

Afterwards, I walked out of the building and stood at the bus stop. I was on autopilot as I got onto the bus and sat down. Down the road from my house, I got off the bus and walked dazed to my house.

I still couldn't comprehend what the doctor had told me, and I did not know how I was going to tell anyone. For a while I just lay on my bed, but when it got later I climbed out of my window and onto the roof.

I lay down and looked up to the sky that was darkening.

As the stars twinkled in the darker sky, I knew I couldn't hide forever, I would have to face my family and tell them the terrible news but I just couldn't.

I needed more time, so instead I lay perfectly still, gazing up at the stars. I wasn't ready yet.