I'm so excited to be sharing this sneak peek of my upcoming book, I DON'T BELONG TO YOU: Quiet the Noise and Find Your Voice! I want my fans to be the first to read it, so every Friday for the next four weeks, I'm going to give you a brand new excer...
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I honestly started taking it personal that he hadn't made a pass at me and I started to get nervous he was just using me. For what, I didn't know, but the lukewarm feeling I was having was starting to aggravate me and activate all my insecurities.
I finally asked him what the deal was, that most other guys would be trying to have sex with me by that point. I asked was it that he just wasn't attracted to me? I wasn't afraid of rejection, to be rejected for me would've set me free at this point because I didn't like the uncertain place he was capable of putting me in. I pointed out that one minute he'd say he just wanted to be friends, but then the next minute he acted like he loved me, literally telling me I'm fabulous and saying things like, "Why aren't we married yet?" He seemed so nervous, like he was a rat I'd pushed into a corner with my broom. Then he kissed me!
It was such a movielike moment, honestly, in the most HILARIOUS way. From that moment on we were even closer, like two peas in a pod—as close as close could be with this added element. But he said he still wanted to be best friends.
For a long time that bothered me. It confused me so much, a fresh twenty-year-old, that he didn't want to be my boyfriend but wanted to spend time with me and kiss me and all this. It honestly bugged me because I couldn't understand it; it didn't fit in my head. I felt like I wanted to sleep with him but couldn't, because he wasn't my boyfriend. I felt like I couldn't open up, because he wasn't my boyfriend. I felt like I had to be mad at every female who was with him, because he wasn't my boyfriend.
Thanks so much for reading, everybody! I love seeing what parts you like best, and hearing what you think. Please visit kekepalmer.com to preorder I DON'T BELONG TO YOU and to find out where I'll be appearing next!
