Born This Way

Chapter 23.

I opened my eyes the next morning and immediately wished I could be back asleep so I didn’t have to face the day. I had told my parents the truth yesterday, and now I needed to go talk to Alison. The best I could. I got up out of bed, and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair, but I didn’t bother with makeup today. I went back into my room and threw on some jean shorts, and a hot pink tank top. I changed and feed Pheobe, and packed a bag for her for the whole day. Clothes, diapers, bottles, all that stuff. I went into Mikes room and woke him up. “I’m heading to Ezra’s.” I said. “Tell mom and dad when they wake up please.” I said. “But it’s 6am!!” he said. “What’s wrong with you?” “A lot.” I replied. “Just tell them.” I put Phoebe in the car and drove to Ezra’s. I left her with him for the day, and then drove out to the cemetery where Ali is. I walked out to where her grave was and laid the towel I had brought down and laid down on it. We used to lay on the grass on our backs looking up at the clouds and imagining what I would be like to be able to talk to the people we loved who were up there. We used to say we with we could be up there and down here at the same time. Or just close your eyes, and magically appear up there. We made each other promise that if one of us ever died, we’d come down for a visit. And that’s exactly what happened. When I’m laying next to Alison’s grave, and I fall asleep, she comes down and we get to talk. I know im not just dreaming. It’s real. Too real. I can feel her, and touch her and everything. Of course as soon as I wake up she’s gone. But I know that I can talk to her any time I want to, as long as im laying next to her grave. So I put on my new sunglasses because I know when I wake up the sun will be brightly shinning into my eyes. I put in my iPod to block out the sound of anything going around me, and I fall asleep.

　

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“You brave little girl…” I heard a voice say. The voice of an angel. Literately. “Alison??” I sat up straight and yanked my headphones out.

“You finally did what I wish we would have done for years..” she said but with a smile on her face. I burst into tears. “I couldn’t risk them hurting Pheobe!!” Alison came over and hugged me.

“She’s beautiful. Pheobe that is.” I smiled and whipped my eyes.
“I cant believe it..” I sighed. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant.”

“I knew!” Ali said.
“well of course YOU did. Why didn’t you tell me??” I asked. “last time I was here, you knew I was pregnant.”

“I couldn’t tell! Honey, I know a lot.”

“What’s going to happen to Jenna and Toby then?” I asked her, even though I knew her answer.

“I cant tell you anything. You know that.”

When Alison first died, people told me ‘she’s watching out for you..’ but I never bought it. “There’s no sadness in heaven” I would say. “so she cant see what’s going on here.”

“oh, but she can see the happy stuff and she’s really happy for you!!” they would say.

Later I found out only a special few people can keep in contact with us. Not because of who they were, but because of who needed them. So I still have Alison, in a way. I just cant take her out of the graveyard.

“So what’s the plan?” Ali asked me, although she already knew it.

“I don’t know!!” I said. “please Ali, please tell me what to do!”

“I can’t. im sorry Aria, I can’t tell you what to do. Im not allowed.”

“Ali, they could kill Mike! You KNOW they threatened to kill Mike since we killed Alex. They already told my parents I was a bulimic, they already told about Ezra, about Mike stealing, about everything! And then there’s the fact that Toby got me pregnant because if I didn’t sleep with him he’d do something horrible. My life is so dangerous! And then he KILLED you! My best friend..” I sobbed and sobbed. I looked at Alison expecting her to tell me something. “Im alone..” I said quietly.

“You’re what?” she asked.

“alone..” I repeated. “I don’t have you anymore.. My dad hates me.. My grandmother Is gone.. Ezra could be next. Or Mike. Or Pheobe..”

“Aria you’re not alone..” Alison tried to console me. She reached out to touch my hand, but then, she blew away.. Into thin air. She was gone. I was awake, and Alison was gone. I opened my eyes and sat up. It was still dark outside, too early for even the sun to be awake. It was cold, and felt like rain. It was a loud crack of thunder that had woken me up.

“How DARE you??” I yelled at absolutely nothing. “I AM alone, you left me Alison. You left me here on Earth ALL alone. YOU told Jenna’s father, YOU got yourself killed, how dare you? You left me here to fight this myself!” I shook Ali’s grave as if somehow this would bring her back.

I fell to the ground in front of it crying. Rain started to fall from the sky. I suppose this means, Alison was crying too.

“how could you leave me alone..?” I lifted my head. Before Alison died, that week even, she told me if she had her way, she’s have a heart shaped, pink tomb stone. That pink roses will grow around it and they’d never die. On Alisons grave stone read “a loyal friend. A pink Rose.” I always thought of Ali like this. A pink rose.

You can buy a fake pink rose. Yes, it’s not as pretty, it doesn’t smell nice, but it never died. You could always buy the real rose, but you know it’s going to die. To most people it’s worth it. Enjoy something wonderful for a while, and then say goodbye. Alison was a real friend. I got the honor of having her. But she was too real to live forever. So she’s gone. But I can’t help but feel it’s her fault. Why was she talking about her grave only a week before her death? Why didn’t she try and stop it?

“why didn’t you take me with you.. Ali?” I asked her. “I know you can hear me. Why did you leave me? I want to come with you.. I want to go back to last summer. I wanted to die with you..”