stressed out (but you're here)

Jihoon is breaking down, all alone in his studio. He doesn't have ideas, and all he can do is worry, and get anxious over and over again. He forces himself to go back to work, he sits and tries to force out lyrics but all of them sound horrible. He tries to compose some more songs, but it turns out all too similar to songs he's previously made. Stress soon engulfs him, and Jihoon feels like he could explode at the moment. He decides to pick up his phone, and call the only person he feels like he can trust right now.

Siwan picks up; much to Jihoon's relief because stressing all alone wasn't going to help.

"Jihoon? What are you calling me at this time for?" Siwan's voice sounds like he's trying to be as quiet as possible, along with being loud enough for Jihoon to hear. Jihoon hears some sort of sounds, probably coming from wherever Siwan was.

"I was wondering if you could come here, I mean, I feel shitty right now and you could probably help, if you don't want to come it's fine, it just would be really nice-"

"Jihoon, you don't need to explain so much. You want me to come to where you are, I will. Text me the address, and I'll get there as soon as the filming ends, okay?" Siwan says, and Jihoon feels like an idiot who wants to pull back the fact that he ever even asked. How could he even forget that Siwan was busy, just as busy or maybe even more busy as Jihoon himself? And here he was, using Siwan's extra time for his own benefit!

Jihoon wants to say that Siwan doesn't need to come, but the phone hangs up. (Jihoon assumes he had to start filming again.) He texts Siwan the address, since if the elder thinks that Jihoon is going to send him it, he might as well just do so.

Jihoon tries to continue his work, and he tries over, over, over and over again, but nothing sounds right to his ears. He finally snaps out of the continuous movements of his fingers on the mouse when he hears a knock on the studio door. He stands up and opens the door.

"Hmm.. Let me guess, you're stressed?" Siwan's first words are true, and Jihoon wonders how he even came to that conclusion. It was probably his slightly unhinged jaw or his widened eyes that made Siwan answer.

"You have some habits when you're stressed, sometimes you just babble on like you were in the call. Since this is your studio, you must be stressed about your songs... What about we go outside for a bit to relax?"

"Sure."

They walk together outside, hands entwined as the wind blows their hair side to side. Jihoon takes some time to look and admire the stars, he never got enough time to do that. Siwan notices where Jihoon's gaze is directed to, and follows it. He lets out a slight chuckle because it just was too much like Jihoon to get lost in the beauty of the sky.

Siwan pulls Jihoon towards the grass and sits down. There was a better view of the sky from here, which Siwan thinks Jihoon would definitely appreciate. Siwan is correct for the nth time that day when he sees Jihoon's head moving around, looking up at all the stars.

"It's calming, isn't it? To see all of these stars.." Siwan says while looking at Jihoon's relaxed face.

"Yeah. They shine so bright, and are always so beautiful." Jihoon says, his eyes shining with the reflections of the stars in them.

"Just like you." Siwan says softly, only to have a wide-eyed Jihoon stare at him.

"What do you mean?" Jihoon's voice seems to be unstable, and uncertain of what Siwan said.

"When I look at you, even when you are stressed, you look as if you are shining... You've always been very beautiful, in my opinion." Siwan says, then realizing how much it sounds like a love confession. He had wanted to confess, and if this worked, he was okay with it being super lame.

"Really? I don't think you're thinking of the right person, to be honest. The Jihoon you're thinking about is probably from another universe, someone who has unlimited ideas, and great creativity; someone who doesn't get frustrated at almost everyone due to stress. I really wish I was that Jihoon, I really do. As you can see, though, I'm definitely not." Jihoon says, his voice soft as he speaks every word, and Siwan can hear all of the self-doubts he has inside of him.

"The Jihoon I'm talking about is the Jihoon who's sitting right next to me right now. The Jihoon who may not be perfect, but is a great person nonetheless. The Jihoon who doesn't have unlimited ideas; who sometimes does get frustrated at others thanks to stress. The Jihoon who looks up at the stars as if they are the coolest thing ever; who trusts me enough to call me when he has troubles." Siwan thinks he might as well just confess his true feelings, and for some reason, his mind to mouth filter disappeared, so he does. "The Jihoon who I like."

"Huh? Can you please repeat that? There is no way someone like you would like someone like me, you have a busy career, and I'm someone who can't even press out ideas for one song.." Siwan hates how self-doubtful Jihoon is being because Siwan just wants to tell Jihoon everything he said earlier again, no, every reason why he likes the younger. Maybe then, Jihoon would realize, he didn't need to be perfect- no, he was perfect as is. He would have to express that to Jihoon.
Siwan cups Jihoon's face in his hand and kisses the younger. After all, he had always been more someone who'd express himself through actions, not words. He could feel Jihoon kiss him back, and the younger eased into the kiss. It was very short, to Siwan's disappointment, as Jihoon pulled out almost as quickly as he had kissed the elder back.

"Is it weird that I may be really in love with you?" Jihoon says, avoiding eye contact with the other.

"No, not at all, my perfect Jihoon."