eccedentesiast.

one.

she's an eccedentesiast,
covering the pain with broken smiles,
just to see other faces lit up with beautiful, dazzling smiles.

she thinks she's a nobody,
spending her days roaming the hallways of a peaceful library,
running her soft fingers along the book spines, so delicately,
searching for a story to fill her life which seemed so empty.

when night time dawns upon her,
she pushes herself back home,
unable to leave the warm and enthralling comfort of the book she had just completed.

she opens the door to the vacant place, she wished she had a reason to call home,
yet to her,
it remained a hotel,
just a place to stay,
not a home.

and she wanders and climbs up onto the roof,
all the tears,
the fears,
the shame,
the fame,
they disappear as she climbs high.

she perches her bottom as far on the edge as she can,
and glances up,
her eyes brightened,
by the winking stars.

they knew all her secrets,
everything,
they understood her pain,
and she smiles briefly,
staring deeply into the scattered moondust,
crossing her fingers tightly,
and shutting her eyes hopefully,
she whispers,
"i miss you, mum, i miss you kyle, i miss you tommy, i miss you jay..."
and she continues to whisper all the names,
until her eyelashes sparkle with her tears,
until she feels the same hollow feeling in her shattered heart.
;æb

to my baby girl, for being so damn fucking strong
~ashleyyourhoe