Finding Eden

12

"Bon chance, mon ami!" He was waving from his little balcony, as if he were sending me off to Versailles. He had been brushing up on his French, hoping to impress Aldous the next time they met.

I toted my dance bag and waved back. My mind had been restless ever since last night and my body was fuelled with the steady influx of adrenaline. Just thinking about the stage gave me an exhilarating rush to the head. Cade's bronze hair glowed in the pale morning sun and he was the last thing I saw before I stepped into the cab.

***

The air buzzed at the company and the early rush of preparation had begun. The corps de ballet had already warmed up. Aldous preferred that he kept an eye on us all day, whether we were rehearsing or not, to ensure a perfect opening night. I was in leotard and tights, perfecting my routine. I practiced a little harder, knowing Cade was going to be there.

In just a few months, I had picked up his little habits. Ruffling my hair with my fingers—restless limbs that could not be contained—and doing everything in three's. My clothes even smelled like the laundry detergent he used and I could no longer distinguish between the books we read. He mused about Sydney Carton while I lingered over Heathcliff. Knowing anything about him, he had probably been picking up my books and placing it various locations after analysing them. Cade liked to do that. He loved to discover motives and hidden assumptions and he loved to read people like he read scripts.

If Aldous or my aunt noticed a change in my demeanour, they didn't disclose it. Sometimes, I felt like an intruder in my very own body. This was not who I was. It was unlike me to move in with a boy and think about him while leaping through the air. It was unlike me to draw upon the emotions that are characteristic in me as well as Medora. Because in Le Corsaire, drowned and dredged up against the shores of an island, Conrad and Medora's love still held true.

"Five minutes to curtain!" the stage manager announced to the dancers.

"Thank you five," came the replies.

My hair was given one last brush over and pins were added to secure my headpiece on. Standing by the curtain, I was thankful for the lights and I floated onstage, absolutely undeterred. Aldous said it was never in my veins to be afraid.

I thought of my parents and I thought of the numerous recitals they had attended, even when I could only go half-pointe. They went to enough of my performances to last two lifetimes and yet I desired nothing more than to have them in attendance.

The orchestra down below drew me into focus and I fell into the comfortable routine I had drilled into my bones.

If anything could describe the moment the overhead lights switched cues and backlit the performance, it would be exhilarating. The air around me thinned as suddenly, every detail of my audience sharpened and I noticed the programmes, the evening jewellery, the anticipation. It was only then that I felt a surge of emotions that have escaped me the past few months. The show had sold out and I was front and centre of it.

But as bliss comes, it must go. The seas calmed and the moon shone, Medora and Conrad thanked the skies for their salvation—a testimony of their love.

The crowd went wild.

We performed our closing sequences and our bows before the curtain swept shut.

The green room was filled with hugs and congratulations and ballerinas rushing to get dressed in order to catch the bus. I was filled with glee (a high only ballet theatre could give me, it seemed).

"Eden!"

Arms encircled my waist and spun me around the moment I turned and all I smelled was the intoxicating cologne Cade wore layered on top of his detergent. He was dressed in a suit and his hair had been tamed for tonight and all that I could do was break open in a smile and hold him tighter. He then handed me a bouquet of white carnations (the wrapping had been a bit crushed in our embrace) and kissed my cheek, despite my protest that there was at least three layers of heavy foundation upon it.

My eyes drifted to my aunt, who stood a few feet back, next to Aldous, who also brought his own bouquet of roses. It was then that I felt a little bit more complete.

Cade latched his fingers to mine and grinned.