Things I Lost (2016)

Thirty-Five

"I love you, Taylor Swift."

As soon as the words escape Harry's lips, my mind suddenly snaps back. The spell reverses as if to wake me up, to say that whatever I'll do, I'm fully aware. I cannot blame it in an imaginative spell, I cannot blame it to anything or anyone else but me.

This will cross the line, should our lips touch, that'll be me crossing the lines, fully aware and fully held responsible.

I back away with a gasp as I stare at Harry. "I'm--I'm--" I stutter for a moment. From clarity and full arrangement of thoughts to absolute befuddlement. I stand up while he remains in his place. "Sorry Hazz, w-we can't--"

Harry licks the bottom of his lips and it pulls to a smile, "It's fine, love."

I blink a few times, that wasn't exactly what I expected. Earlier, he seems to really want it, like he will stop at nothing just do it but now, he seems like it's nothing to him now. In fact, if I am not in this situation right now, the smug smirk on his face tells me like he's testing me and he's proud of his work.

For the first time in a while, Harry's confusing personality starts to creep me out. . . but I try to clear my head from that.

"I can't do that to Jensen. He's--"

Harry nods, "I know."

"I-I r-really--"

I don't know if it's a relief or not but my phone rings right at this critical moment. I calm myself down and excuse myself from Harry, then I leave the room.

In my hurry to get out of the situation, I didn't even look at the caller ID.

"Uhh who is this?" I ask.

"F*ck, Taylor. It's Leo." He mutters and he doesn't even need to say it. Once he swears, I already know who he is.

I hear people shouting and sounds of struggle from the background of the other line. It seems like someone is fighting. . . God, please no.

"What made you call?" I ask, it isn't a normal situation wherein he'll call. He hated my existence as much as I hated his. But, this doesn't sound like the casual prank call or foolish message, this is something and it starts worrying me.

"Get here, now. At that bar you know where Jensen always hangs out? At the back, we can't calm him." He says, a little too tensed. . . enough for me to believe him.

"You think I can do anything about that?" As far as I'm concerned, when Jensen is in his rage mode, it'll take a whole police squad to calm him. . . sometimes me. But I highly doubt that right now. Oh God, what do I do?

"Well, f*ck Taylor, do you think I have time to answer that? Get over here, now."

The sudden feeling of responsibility comes through me. I have to do something. I don't know what happened and I can't bring it to myself to care.

"Just give me a sec." I say and then Leo ends the call.

It gives me a split second to ask myself whether I tell my mom or not but I figure maybe I should just text her while on my way. I walk downstairs too quickly.

I shut the door quietly and head to the garage. I get in my car and drive away as quick as I can. All while sending a text to my mom,

I'll be back, promise. Don't worry.

My mind is in scrambles again. The pieces and thoughts are all scattered in a warehouse of confusion and worry. Adding the events earlier doesn't really help, if anything, it only makes it all the worse.