Mirror Mirror

Chapter 12

Regular Universe: Mirror John

     After a throw-together meal and a cup of tea, John began to feel the fatigue of the day creeping over him. He wanted a hot shower and bed in that order. Sherlock had watched him eat not saying anything. He'd gone up to "his" room and collected some pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and went into the bathroom. When he emerged from his shower, Sherlock hadn't moved from his place at the kitchen table.

"What?" John asked feeling a deliberate tension forming between them. "I'm knackered and want to go to bed." He still felt lost in his relationship with his former Dom.

"You usually sleep with me, correct?" Sherlock asked dropping his eyes to the kitchen floor.

John still couldn't get over how unsure this Sherlock seemed about their relationship. Sherlock always knew exactly what he wanted and exactly how much he could push John into giving him. It had been the hallmark of their romantic and business partnership for years now. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been given much of a choice or the chance to discover how he might do things differently. He always did what Sherlock wanted.

"Yes," he answered.

"Would it make you more comfortable if you continued to do so?" Sherlock said still not making eye contact.

Sherlock was offering him a choice. He could have the warmth and support he desperately craved from his pseudo-Dom, or he could go upstairs and take the space he needed to sort out how he wanted to proceed on his own. It was a novel feeling. The two of them stood at a crossroad, and the future rested on his, John Watson's, shoulders for a change.

John knew one thing for certain, the Sherlock sitting before him needed his guidance now. This man, usually so sure of everything, had been cut adrift and John might be the only one who could bring him back to shore. He smiled and moved over to the sitting detective. He wrapped his arms around his flat mate and hugged him close.

Sherlock stiffened up at first then melted into the embrace bringing his arms around John's back to hold him tight. He wanted to tilt Sherlock's chin up and kiss all the uncertainty away, but in this world, they didn't do that. Did they?

John decided. "I'd really like that, but only if you're okay with it. I think it would help me sleep to be in your bed."

Sherlock mumbled something into John's shoulder.

"Humm?" John asked.

"I'd like that too," Sherlock said moving his face away and looking up into John's eyes.

So, John did kiss him. He kept the kisses gentle and soft. If these were indeed first kisses, he wanted them to be memorable and sweet. Sherlock kissed back unsure at first then gaining confidence. His hands pressed John to him firmly, and he seemed more interested in just keeping John close to him than deepening the kiss.

John broke away, and Sherlock stood up from the chair. But, a second later they clutched each other again. John pressed his face into Sherlock's neck breathing him in. His scent, while slightly different, was still inherently Sherlock. He could feel the detective trembling, and that made him smile again.

"I've wanted this for years," Sherlock said just over his ear, his voice deepening into a register that had always done extraordinary things to John. "I never knew how to begin it. I never knew you'd want it too."

Of course, he wanted it. He could no longer live without Sherlock in his life. He'd take the mad genius any way he could have him. That's why he'd done everything he could to earn his place with Sherlock Holmes in his own world. No matter what Sherlock demanded or would demand in the future, he could never deny him. He didn't have the courage to live without him.

"I'll always want you," John replied and slipped his hand into Sherlock's. "Let's go to bed before I fall asleep in your arms."

"Hmmm, I'd be all right with that," Sherlock said but allowed himself to be lead into the downstairs bedroom.

When he got there, Sherlock peeled down to his boxers and pulled back the covers invitingly. John saw a blush creep across his cheeks as he slid under the duvet, and it might have been one of the sexiest things John had ever seen in his life. Sherlock's soft smile nearly caused his heart to stop beating. A feeling unlike any he'd ever experienced before nearly crushed the breath out of his lungs. An unfamiliar urge threatened to overwhelm him. He wanted to protect this man and make sure nothing bad ever happened to him. On the heels of that thought, he nearly laughed outright. Sherlock could certainly take care of himself and had shown a remarkable tenacity to hunt down the toughest criminals. He'd always remained one step ahead of everyone around him, including John. He couldn't help reproaching himself and hoped Sherlock couldn't deduce his thoughts. Old habits died hard.

They turned off the lamps and John pulled Sherlock close nuzzling his face into his shoulder and neck again. He could live right here forever in this peaceful space. Even the calm assurance of a confident Dom didn't bring him this much bliss. He wasn't sure he wanted to leave this world now even if he could find the means to return. So, he sighed deeply and fell asleep in his lover's arms.

Author's Note: Things are about to get shaken up! The plot thickens in the next few chapters. Hold on tight.