unleashed soul

Bless me God,as I may perish

A small spider was crowling down the wall. He was slim and with long legs, however he was going down slowly, with a fear as if some giant human will appear and end his life in a second. John wasthinking about what would spider leave behind then, a spiderweb? , couple of dead flies killed for the sake of consumption? how is that Lord created him so elegant but with such a small destiny. Why should he be different then? why should he be better than a simple spider that has less to think that any other spiders or less to care. Should he also live for a day, today YES! John will live today.

The morning was more than usual except the beautiful feeling that was crowling his heart like that little spider.  Well, usually as any artist soul, he would toss his legs out of the bed, while waiting the gravitation to slide him downout of the sheets into the groud, not today, he ran to shower, shaved carefully however left the beard that as he thought made him look handsome. more than 10 times looking into his watch as if his eyes would make them run faster, he made a cup of coffee and lit a cigarette. out of the window he saw a bug crawling into his window pane trying to get in or find some food.  'what a hell of a place i live in, seems like an Eden, only mammals are missing here'. he  would never tell this to the landlady , not because of his manner, but simply he knew it would not change a scarce thing. The landlady would ignore , he would simply grim. 'i smoke too much, well lets see, what shall i tell her, whatshall i say, cannot just approach her its might be considered not only rude but stupid. '

as he was thinking deeper than he could ever do, one of his works fell on the floor, it was surprisingly loud and he jump off his place. 

''  how queer, that walls refuse to bear my piece of mind!''

He picked it up gently as if his thoughtsand emotion towards his own poems would change the world's opinion about it. He remembered one of his old buddies saying that his ''piece of depressed bullshit makes the world even worse''. Whatever he thought of puting down on paper now seemed a concrete discription of his old friend's words. someone knocked his door. It was not his sister. Jessy always knocked three times, one and after a 3 seconds two in a row. Who would be then? the landlady? Unfortunatelly she never knocks. That leaves a neighbour , the one who lives downstairs and watches TV quite loud and quite late. 

''Just a minute'' reached his voice and as he approached the doors he scarly looked if anything inappropriate could have been found. No trash, no dishes,  no socks on the floor, seems perfect. He opened the door and saw the officer's face. 

'' John Frederick Black, born in 1980, currently single, no children, Parents dead for 10 years, no contact to relatives except adopted sister of 25 years old, no recent friends, no social identity'' the officer would have continued but John stopped him there...

'' well thank you , Officer, for briefing my life in such a dull way, it seems who have done your homework, please cut it shorter as usual and inform me why exactly are you here and what is it i can do for our beautiful city '' annoyed and ignorand sound his voice.

'' We want you to dissapear'', said the officer.

'' Excuse me? Let us sit and have a cup of tea or coffee if you wish and discuss the matter, shall we?'' John was very calm , he allways was. Most of his friends ( they werent too many) thought he was simply arrogant, the sister though he is one big bear unable to speak his emotions out and well parents , loved him the way he was. John let him in, and as he did so, the officer scrutinized him and his house and stoped his eyes on the piles of papers all around the desk , under the desk and even on the bed. JOhn was organized , he looked groomed , fresh and quite handsome, if it werent for his attitude that diminished his looks. Atleast its what most of his acquaitances would suggest. Everything except those papers. The officer could not help but to notice it and for which JOhn find his explanation.

'' I like disorder in my works, I like to see them in front when I think of them and do that quite often, so there is no need to hide them away , is it? I would have to get them out and put them back almost every minute, quite an exhausting habit, dont you think?''

'' Yes, I do, anyways , Mr. Black,I camehere to offer you a well paid job, with adventure and traveling, but with a bitof risk.''