Trust Me. I'm Lying - (SLOWLY EDITING)

Full Of Muggles: Chapter 9

"Damaged people are dangerous, for they are the ones that know how to survive."

—Damaged.

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CHAPTER NINE:

Full Of Muggles.

It was raining that night. Not the kind of rain that made you want to stay in bed in the morning. It fell hard and fast, its sound resembling an endless drum parade.

"Mom?" I ask, scared as I open the door to her room. It's dark, and the TV is the only source of light in the room, showing a rerun of Friends. That's not surprising. Mom is obsessed with Friends.

I look around for her, and what I found scares me. Mom lays at the foot of her bed. Her face in her hands as she cries her eyes out, the sound hidden behind the pouring rain. That scene alone makes me chill to the bone. Mom never cries.

I am rooted to the spot, unable to say anything to stop Mom from crying, for there isn't anything scarier than watching someone as strong as my mother have a complete and utter breakdown. My insides are cold as ice as I watch the scene change.

Walking down the stairs and watching Erick and Dad fight. Mom's asleep upstairs. It's raining again. They haven't talked in weeks or maybe even months. I stare in shock as Erick holds Dad's first before it can smack against his face. My brother looks at me, and I start to cry. He lets go of Dad's hand and comes over to me while my father stands there, shocked. I run to my closet and hide.

Nine-year-old me hasn't wept so much as she cried that night. They find me the next morning, Erick and Mom. I just stare at the wall and don't say anything, not even when they shake me. Mom has never looked so scared as she asks what's wrong. And I only stare at the wall.

A picture of an elephant lifted by a balloon. A white bed. A white paper that cracks as I sit. A kind-faced looking doctor. Anxiety disorder. Possible panic attacks. Erick holds Mom as she cries again.

I don't remember anything more from that day. The scene dissolves.

Dad leaves. Mom takes Erick back inside, her face hollow and his grim. It's a strange thing to watch, the hatred on my brother's face, and then the peace that replaces it when he knows our Dad is long gone. He's starting high-school. Why is Eric so happy? Isn't he sad? My heart feels like it's going to explode from pain. My family just got broken. I watch from an upstairs window as the white pickup truck turns to a corner and disappears from view.

The scene changes once more. I watch Mom smiling at me, a broken look in her eyes as she promises Mia and me some ice cream after dinner. Bills scattered around the table. I smile back, hoping it doesn't get worse.

I woke up with a scream, feeling cold but not from the temperature. I kept looking around my room in a panic, not wanting to relieve that again. My breathing comes out in gasps as if I had just run a marathon. I feel a knot in my throat, so I sit up in my bed, wrapping my arms across my legs, and take a deep breath.

Just a stupid dream, I tell myself firmly as I gulp water from the glass on my bedside table. I'm shaking, and I need to calm down.

I looked at the neon blue lights of my alarm clock, feeling my heart. It reads one fifty-eight in the morning. The date showing off on the left side corner made me groan. I bury my face in a pillow.

It's that time of the year again. Today is the nineteenth of December. The date Dad left.

I've been having reruns of the same compilation of nightmares for almost a week. Some deep part of my brain hasn't assimilated the fact that it won't hurt us anymore and insists on making it appear in my dreams on the dates close to the anniversary.