hundred letters - harry styles

Letter 16

Songs:

Everyday Scenario - Brenk

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

Over You - Daughtry

You & I - One Direction

Drunk - Ed Sheeran

Dear Daisy,

Yesterday I was at your parents, it was quite fun actually. We had a great time to be honest. It was the first time in two long months I didn't feel like crying the whole time.

Your parents showed me about a billion photos, of you, of them, of several parties and school performances of yours. You were the cutest little girl I have ever seen. Your cheeks used to be so perfectly red and your little ponytail made you look even cuter. You're parents took a lot of pictures of you, unlike mine. My parents don't have a single photo of me in their house. They don't really have a reason to take photos of their son though. I have tattoos and never smile, I understand them in a way. But your parents, they are so proud of you, they told me a lot. Like about how you won several prizes back in school and how you were everyone's favourite.

Your mother even cooked. She made this amazing roasted chicken with this incredible garnish. She said it was your favourite meal of hers, I absolutely agree with you. Your mother is one talented woman when it comes to cooking. I don't know if it's because what she made really tasted like heaven or the fact that I haven't eaten properly in a long time, but it was amazing. I almost forgot how it feels like to eat and enjoy it.

We had a really good time, they told me hundreds of stories, I don't know if all of them are true, but they are both incredible story tellers. There's only one thing that happened yesterday, something that made me very uncomfortable. Your mother asked me about you, how I feel about you being dead. She said she saw my scars, she looked at me, I couldn't really tell what she was thinking, she looked like she wasn't judging me in any way, as if if she knew how it is, like she was at my place. Then she asked me why I am doing this to myself. All I could manage to say was I just miss her terribly. I couldn't think of any other reason, I couldn't tell her that I was numb and begged to feel pain, she would tell me to go and get some therapy. So I said that I missed you, why not? It's true, I do miss you Daisy, more than anything. But then, she said something I just can't get out of my head, Daisy wouldn't want you to suffer like that. I didn't know what to think of her words, I could take it as a 'Daisy would find you disgusting' or as a 'Get over it she's dead anyway' I could even take it as a 'Daisy would kiss your scars'. Still, I decided to take it as a 'Daisy wouldn't want you to suffer like that' simple as that.

Your mother is right though, isn't she?

You wouldn't want me to suffer, would you Daisy?

The first thing I need to get fixed this year is the new job, perhaps a new flat and a new view on life. I need to get out of the hole I built myself the past months, I need to keep my head held high and look forward to something. I can't just live this daily routine I'm currently stuck in. I need something to look up to and something that makes it worth waking up. I have to get a job so I can feel like there actually are people who rely on my help, who need me. I just want to feel like back in the days, the days where we were still together, where we began planning the wedding. I want to feel that kind of happiness again, the one I would feel when you smile or kiss me. I want to have a shine in my eyes because something unbelievable happened, the kind of shine I had when you said yes. I want to feel loved again, I want to hear you saying it. Like you always used to say I love you Harry and I would tell you that I love you even more. Because I do. And I will never stop loving you, because now you see, without you I'm missing out on all the wonderful things in life. I can't feel the happiness I once felt, nor can I smile the way I used to. Things changed so roughly, it made me so numb. Smiling is something that only happens every now and then, which is sad, because I used to smile so much with you by my side. Little things could brighten up my day, and now not even the sun can.

I love you Daisy

Thank you on almost 2k reads! Wow! It's so amazing to hear all your wonderful and nice comments, it makes me so happy you all have no idea! Please tell me what you think will happen next! By the way, check out my reading list 'Translations of 100 Letters" :)
I would love you forever if you could vote and comment! And now, the question of the Letter ;) : how old are you? :) x