hundred letters - harry styles

Letter 31

(Please vote&a comment :))

Songs:

Don't Let Me Go - Harry Styles

Look After You - Louis Tomlinson

Dear Mr.President - P!NK

Dear Daisy,

It's the second day now that I'm at your parents, everything is fine actually. Not too much happened the last two days.

Your father helped me to get all my things from my flat. We went there and packed everything. We packed the sofa, the TV, our bed, the drawer and everything in it. All your things, all my things. Now the flat is completely empty. Not a single thing that could hold heartbreaking memories is left in there.

I told your parents that they can keep a part of your stuff. I said we can share them, so everyone has a part of you. I got your pajamas and your old bed sheets, the ones that you brought with you when we moved in together. I didn't ask for much, I wanted things that mean something to me, some things that hold beautiful memories. Things I look at and smile, instead of cry.

I wanted the pajamas because you always used to wear them, I used to see you standing in the kitchen, cooking while wearing them. When I see them, I think of your scent in the morning, the disgusting one everyone has, but I loved your scent. I could have smelled you days straight without a problem.

And I kept the bed sheets, not only because they have daisy flowers on them, because on those sheets we had sex for the very first time. I was at your place and it was dark, we had sex for the very first time together. The next morning I woke up to those Daisy flowers covering my Daisy. That's why the sheets mean so much to me. They remind me of the good time we spent together, the times when we were so drunk that the only right thing to do was making love to each other.

I really miss that time, I know I always say this but I genuinely do. I miss this thing we had, we were together with such an ease, we kissed like it was the only thing we're really good at. We talked like we knew each other our whole lives, like the only person we ever talked to is us. 

I liked coming home and kissing you, I liked asking you about your day and telling you about mine. We didn't put much effort into it, we did all of this because then, it seemed so very normal to us. 

But now, the only normal thing for me is thinking. Not only about you Dase, more about how I should keep my life going. How will I carry on with this new shitty daily routine? Will there ever be something exciting about my life again? Or will I just keep waking up and going to sleep.

The thing is, all those nice things I live, all those little moments of happiness that make my day a little brighter and my time a little better, those things can't be shared with anyone anymore. 

I can't say something like look Dase, or see? Because who is there to see something when I am all by myself. 

I know, I have Dan, your parents, maybe sometimes even the other people at the office. But those people are nothing compared to you. I could never imagine smiling at someone the way I smiled at you, I could never think of someone the way I think about you, you know Dase, it's different when it comes to people that are not you. People who didn't save me in a way, people who don't really know me, at least not the real, real me. It's different when I have to tell people how I am feeling, when they can't tell by the way I look. 

It's strange to explain something to someone, when it clearly is obvious what I mean. You know, you always understood me, you took in my place and saw things the way I saw them. You made it easier for me. Maybe that's why now it seems so hard. 

I sometimes think that with you by my side I was like in a little bubble, safe from the outside, you were like a protection in a way. You made me think that everyone has a heart like yours, everyone besides my parents. But who are they anyway. 

All I know is that I liked living in a bubble, I liked the thought of nice people, understanding people, caring people like you. 

Maybe not everyone has a heart like yours, maybe no one does. But that's ok. Because once you told me that I stole your heart, you said I took it and made it beat faster. I know that you meant it in a completely other way, but I still have it. 

I hold it tight in my mind. I have it and take care of it, don't worry. 

Anyway Dase, I'll write you tomorrow, I'll tell you about the flat that I'm visiting with your father. I hope it'll be good, so that I can move in as fast as possible. Not that I don't like living with your parents, but when I think of it, I feel more comfortable alone. 

I don't have to listen to anyone when I'm not in the mood, I don't have to reply when I don't know what to say, you know? I just like living alone, or with you. But with no one else Dase. You know that, don't you? 

I love you Daisy

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awwwwwww harreeehhhh

isn't he the cutest, so smooth. 

anyway, thank you all for reading and commenting and voting ily all sooo much! 

x x olivia