Here I am eating ice cream in my sofa thinking to myself what i did wrong the year that Logan and I call it quits on our relationship. Remembering every fight and make up we had, but I couldn't pinpoint the moment that we drifted apart. But I can’t.
A year and a half later nothing has change in my life. I stay focus on my work and keep myself busy that way I have almost no time to think about Logan. But it is hard when I see him in magazines at the store when I go grocery shopping or when I am out with my friends and they mention him. Its hard to forget someone you cared so much about in a little amount of time. Yes, I know a year is long but to me it only seems like a week or so because I really thought that Logan was the one. That he was going to be the person that I would grow old with me. But I guess life isnt a fairytale.
Tomorrow is his wedding, a wedding where I have no say in it because he probably does not remember all the happy memories we had. And also because I was not given an invitation to, even after Kendall invited me to be his date for the wedding. I decline of course because I don't know what I would do when I see Logan after 14 months of not seeing him. I dont even know if I would be able to control the tears when I hear him say "I do" and kiss his wife after the priest declares them husband and wife. Plus Logan probably forgot all about me, that is why he is marrying someone else. I am not even in his thoughts like he is in mine because all he thinks is his soon to be wife. After tomorrow there would not be anything I can do to stop Logan or for us to get back together because he would be a married man.
I know I am the one that left him and told him to never call/text me but I never thought he would do it. Part of me was waiting for him to run and stop me from leaving but he never did. He never did call or text and as much as I wanted to call him and tell him that it was all a mistake my pride did not let me. I could not let myself be proven wrong, I couldn't swallow my own pride and run back into his arms. Now I am paying the consequences by sitting here on my sofa eating ice cream and crying because the man I love is marrying someone other than me tomorrow. After tomorrow someone else will have the honor to be Mrs. Henderson, wife of Logan Henderson and mother of his kids. And that someone would be marry to the most amazing person in the world because he knows how to keep his woman happy and treat her well.
I came across the engagement about four months ago when I was looking through Kendall's twitter. Kendall and I remind friends despite Logans and I seperation, I guess Kendall just didn't know how to tell me that Logan had move on and is tying the knot with someone else. I couldnt believe it when I first saw that I had to call Kendall and confirm it. That day I remember it so well because it was the most painful day of my life. I couldn't stop the tears from falling, it was as they had a mind of their own. I didn't eat that day, i just cried until I had no tears left, but even then there was no motive for me to leave my apartment. All my senses seemed to be gone and there was nothing I could do to get them back. The next day after I made sure I was busier than before that way I will be lost in my own world because my baby needed me. I guess Logan did not love me as much as I love him.
I have not dated a guy after Logan and I broke up because none of them are like Logan. Yes there have been some that seemed nice, but I could not stop myself from comparing them to Logan. Plus how could I move on from my baby's father? How can I move on from the person that brought me the most amazing gift ever, my son?
No one knows that I have a kid and I have been keeping it that way. Not even Kendall knows, which was super hard. The seven months after the break up Kendall always invited me to drink or wanted to visit me, but I always had an excuse. He saw it as me trying to avoid him, which drew us apart. After I had Andres, I knew that I had to do something to make sure that I don't lose Kendall. Kendall has met Andres but he thinks that I am Andres baby sitter and that my roommate is his mother since Andres clothes are in her room. I guess he doesn't see Logan's reflection like I do.
There was no one by my side in the delivery room but my mother, who I knew respected my decision to not tell Logan. Every time I look at Andres I see Logan's reflection. Andres is the only man in my life that I have been able to accept because he is the fruit of Logan's and my love.
The sad part is that Logan would not be here to see him grow to an amazing young man he will be. He already missed out on my pregnancy and seven months with Andres. You can never turn back time and make it up. Its time that you can never get back.
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AN: Hope you all enjoy your weekend!! Let me know what you all think of the short story!
