He says I'm crazy. It's funny, how can he call me crazy for loving him, when he was the one afraid of it? I always thought it would be us in the end, but you chose her. I'm disappointed that I just got my heart broken by the person I thought I would marry, but he thought of me only as a second option.
"Write about someone you miss," my teacher announced as our writing prompt. I looked down at my paper and began to tear up. My tears rained on the paper as if my eyes were the clouds.
Someone I miss? Hell. How about someone that rips me apart to the core of my aching body all because I miss his presence. I miss him. Missing him is letting it be said too easily. I more than miss him. I crave him. I was loyal to him. My love for him was loyal. I would have never put any other guy above him. He was my all. Well he still is. He's my 2 pm and 2 am thoughts. I find myself looking in the mirror saying "I hate him" over and over. All it does is make me love him more. People say I'm too young to love, but I've never felt this way before and all I want is for him to come back to me. He left me for some girl. He "loved" me. What I don't get is that if he loved me, why would he leave me for someone else? My friends tell me it's because of the miles between us. If you love someone miles shouldn't matter. Like those sappy quotes say, " distance in miles but not in heart". If he actually loved me, why would he leave? It's been about a month now. Since he left me. Since then, my love gets even more toxic. God, I miss the me I was before my first heartbreak.
He had beautiful brown eyes, he always reminded me of the ocean. He was the ocean that drowned me. He was full of mysteries and thoughts bubbled up from inside him. He was kind and soft but fuck he was also a disaster, a walking, talking tornado of passion and jealousy and love. He was flawed but he was beautiful, but he kept slipping through my fingers and now i'm stuck here, remembering him, missing him. I miss the way his hair flops over his fringe, I miss the way it messed up when he runs and parts away just like we did ourselves. I miss that when he found something funny he'd always do either a low pitch laugh, or a laugh that was more high pitched than the way he made me feel. I miss the 3am phone calls when he'd be crying down the phone to me, and I miss waking up next to him. I miss having to calm him down when he panicked, and I miss what he used to call me. I miss feeling like his. I miss coming back to my phone to see loads of messages describing his love for me. I miss him always being clingy, no matter how irritating it got a tiny bit. I miss the fact that we had a perfect love and it got thrown away. I miss the fact that no matter what we done and how bad it wad, we still felt that love that brought us back together. I miss him. I miss myself when I was with him. But most of all, I miss us.
But the thing is, I don't want to miss him anymore. I do not want to miss anything about him or us, but I do, and it sucks.
YOU ARE READING
Let Me Go
Poetry"Maybe this is what we've needed all along. Distance from everything else, and closeness to eachother."
