Inevitable - Alren

Chapter 4

It had been a week since Ally and Lauren's trip to the diner, Lauren had kept her promise and hadn't brought up the 'Ally situation' since then. They were acting as if nothing had happened but Lauren was still curious as to what was getting the small girl down. Lauren was in her bunk by herself, just thinking about everything.

Camila was out with Ashley and Lauren was pretty sure Dinah and Normani were playing in the snow outside. Ally was out too although Lauren didn't know where she was. Suddenly her phone began to ring and she looked down to see her girlfriend's name lighting up the screen.
"Hey babe." Lauren smiled as she picked up the phone.
"Hello Lolo, how are you?" Lucy laughed back at Lauren.
"I'm doing great now that I'm talking to you." It was true, even just speaking to her girlfriend had brightened Lauren's mood - Lucy made her feel all warm inside.
"Smooth Jauregui." Lucy laughed again. "What you doing?"
"Just laying in my bunk thinking." Lauren responded shifting around a bit.
"Oooh what are you thinking about?" Lucy asked with a large smile planted on her face.
"I think we should come out..." Lauren spoke suddenly. "I'm ready Luc, I'm finally ready." She had a smile on her face - a genuine one, this is what she wanted.
"Really Lolo? That's great! Are you sure though? You're not just doing this because I want to?" Lucy asked her mood changing at rapid speed.

"I'm sure babe. Im 100% sure." Lauren laughed a hearty laugh. "I want to tell the girls today."
"That's fine Lauren. What made you change your mind?" Lucy asked as small tears leaked from her eyes.
"Life's too short Lucy. Why should we keep this a secret?" Lauren said heart heartedly. "I deserve to be happy, I shouldn't have to hide who I am. I'm bisexual and I should be proud of that."
"I'm so proud Lauren, I love hearing you talk like that." Lucy giggled. "Text me after - tell me what the girls say."
"I'll be sure to. Bye Lucy, Love You." Lauren sighed happily.
"Love you more, Bye Lauren" Lucy finished before hanging up. Lauren took the phone away from her ear and lay back smiling.
"I'm ready"

*Meanwhile with Ally*

Ally sighed in frustration, flopping backwards into the sofa. "Why is life so confusing?" Ally groaned into the pillow that she had buried her face in. "I don't know Als, why is life so confusing?" Tori mocked as she lifted Ally's head off the sofa. Tori sat in the space where Ally's head had been before placing it on her lap, running one hand through Ally's hair while Ally held onto the other.

"Torz stop being mean." Ally pouted as she played with Tori's fingers.
"Sorry Ally, now explain to me what's wrong." Tori said, patting Ally's head slightly.
"I don't know if I want to tell you. You might hate me. I don't want you to hate me Tori." Ally admitted as she began to tear up. Tori grew concerned all mocking out of her mind. She simply pulled Ally up and into her chest, cradling her like a baby. She began to rock her back and forth as Ally quietly cried into her chest. There may only be less than 8 months between them but Tori always thought of Ally as her baby sister and it hurt her to see Ally cry.

Thoughts were whizzing around Tori's head, she had known Ally for four years now and had only seen her this upset on a few occasions. Realization hit Tori, all those situations were from the same thing maybe this was too. She hated to think that but she had to ask.
"Ally, baby, you haven't relapsed have you?" Ally looked up at Tori, her eyes glistening with tears. She simply shook her head "no" before she resumed her crying.
"You swear Allyson? I've only ever seen you this upset during those times." Tori pushed, wanting to make sure that Ally was being honest.
"I swear Victoria. I haven't released, it's nothing like that." Ally mumbled.
"Then why are you so upset, baby?" Tori pushed the hair off of Ally's sweaty forehead before placing a kiss there.
"I don't want you to hate me." Ally sobbed out. "Please don't leave me Tori."

"I would never leave you Ally, that's a fact. Well unless you've murdered someone. You haven't murdered anyone. Right Ally?" Tori hurriedly asked causing Ally to let out a small giggle.
"Nope." Ally replied. "Ok Tori I'll tell you."
Ally got off of Tori's lap and sat next to her, still holding her hand.
"I'm only telling you this because I feel like I can trust you Tori, you're my best friend in this whole world and you've been with me through a lot of stuff. You were the only one who knew about me...self harming," Ally whispered the last part of the sentence, still feeling ashamed for what she did, "and you singlehandedly helped me get clean. You deserve to know all about me because you're like family. I'm trying so hard to talk on, to waste time so I don't have to tell you." Ally laughed, the sound hollow.
"Take you time Ally. I'm here." Tori rubbed her thumb across Ally's knuckles - something she knew calmed the smaller girl down.
"Well recently, I think I've fallen in love with someone. I think I've fallen in love with a girl." Ally paused as she expected Tori to snatch her hand away, that didn't happen. Tori sat there with an understanding smile on her face - urging Ally to continue.
"I'm not used to feeling this way about another girl, it's strange. I've known this girl for almost 5 years but only recently got feelings for her - I don't know what changed Tori." Ally sighed.
"Wait it's not me you're in love with, is it?" Tori asked - she did seem tombe ticking all the boxes.
"No, Tori. It's not you!" Ally exclaimed. "Do you hate me Tori? Are you disgusted that I'm in love with a girl?" Ally's voice was small, fear was evident within it.
"Oh Allyson, of course not!" Tori smiled pulling Ally into a hug. "Slightly offended that you're not in love with me but I don't hate you." Tori joked making Ally laugh.

"I'm so relieved!" Ally sighed happily.
"So Ally, I hate to ask this but are you Bisexual? Pansexual?" Tori asked rubbing Ally's arm.
"I don't know Tori... what does Pansexual mean, I've never heard of it. I didn't even know there were other sexualities." Ally confessed.
"Wait, which ones do you know?" Tori asked.
"Um, straight, gay and bisexual I guess." Ally shrugged her shoulders.
"Well Allycat, I'm going to educate you and we'll see if we can find your sexuality." Tori said pulling out her laptop and placing it on her knee.
"Pansexual - not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity." Tori read from the screen.  "Does that sound like you? Think back to all the relationships that you've been in, all the people you've fancied."
"I'm not sure Tori, this girl is the first I've fell for." Ally sighed.
"Aesexual- lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity." Tori wriggled her eyebrows at Ally. "You ever been sexually attracted to anyone Ally?"
Ally blushed but nodded her head.
"Ok so we can cross that off the list." Tori smiled at the smaller girl who had her head resting on Tori's shoulder.
"Ooh, how about Demisexual?" Tori Exclaimed, quickly googling it. "A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone."
Ally thought back to all her past relationships, she had known Troy for 2 years before they started dating and they had been super close friends. This also seemed to fit with Lauren, it would explain why her feelings were suddenly emerging now.
Ally sat straight up a huge smile in her face. "I think that's it! I think I'm demisexual!" Ally beamed. It felt good to finally identify herself.
"Thanks Tori, I couldn't have done it without you!" Ally said wrapping her arms around Tori in a huge hug and planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek.
"I'm so glad you're happy baby. I missed your smile. I hate seeing you cry." Tori giggles.
"I feel better about myself, knowing that other people have these feelings makes me feel happy." Ally buried her face in Tori's neck.
"I think you should tell the girls. They love you and they'll still love you after you tell them this. I'm really proud of you Allybabe and I'm sure they'll be as well." Tori murmured, not knowing how Ally would respond.
"I can't tell them yet, Tori." Ally sighed.
"I'm not ready."