Blackadder lll v Beau Brummell

Scene Two

Prince George's chambers: cravats litter the floor, as he crumples yet another while attempting to adorn himself in front of a mirror  

Prince George Oh, by Jupiter, what a beastly hangover – but worth it to have been fully initiated into the Haute Ton of the 'Body Dandiacal' – eh, Blackadder?  

Blackadder utter disdain The WHAT?  

Prince George The In Crowd my dear fellow; the whole walk, talk and jiggidy-boo! Of course it's going to cost a pretty fortune in starched cravats alone. Why, even The Beau himself endures dozens of failed attempts while getting dressed every single morning.  

Blackadder stifles a grimace  

Prince George Indeed, I thought it only prudent to commission a small mill, simply to enable my own endeavours at tying the perfect cravat!  

Blackadder Sir, please – if I may suggest; the dandy craze cannot possibly last. Why, taken to its logical extremes half of London would be wearing tailored suits! No, take it from me; the powdered wig, along with your own bespangled blasts of silver, purple and yellow are the true hallmarks of style and nobility!  

Prince George waves his hand, dismissively   Oh, I know that Blackadder – I do have some sense of taste and refinement you know! It's not the future of fashion that concerns me – it's my own future in flab! Let's face it, the cloth expandeth every time the tailor visits, whereas those dandy neck collars alone should serve to corset many a future chin!  

Blackadder I can see, sir, that Mr Brummell's sartorial strides may not be gainsaid ...  

Prince George Not be whatsied?  

Blackadder Not be challenged; amidst the current clamour for classical style and contemporary elan.  

Prince removes his cravat into which he blows his nose before discarding among the rest. He takes a towel and heads towards his bathroom  

Prince George And that's my precise point Blackadder – style over substance – now be a good fellow and pull a few further strings for me at the Exchequer: I'm going to need a fresh pot of cash just to keep up with young Brummell at the gaming tables tonight!  

As the Prince turns his back, Blackadder plucks a handkerchief from the dressing table and retreats   

Blackadder I shall do my utmost to plead so sterling a sovereign cause, Your Highness ...  

He bows and exits. Once the other side of the door, Blackadder inserts the handkerchief into his jacket pocket ….

Blackadder ... after lancing that Brummellian boil with a few carefully-tailored designs of my own!      

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