Incarnadine

Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

He wasn't at school on Monday. It wasn't that surprising. Besides, I needed some time for myself to let it all sink in. I'd taken a bullet for Duane. That was how I'd died. Because I loved him more than my own breath.

It was all true, what Armand had said. Again, his words repeated in my mind. I wouldn't have wanted someone to tell me this. If a few weeks ago someone had told me this, I would have said that the person was crazy. My life wasn't a movie set. How could there be a love that...profound, in real life, for that matter?

But remembering it made everything different. I didn't just know I love him—I felt it.

At Chem I worked quietly beside Armand, the two of us silent as we did our assignment. When we were almost finished, I finally spoke.

"Hey, am I—" I took deep breath. "Am I just a political pawn to you guys?"

He dropped his mortar. He didn't speak at first, and then he said without looking at me, "From a certain point of view, yes."

I put my cylinder into place, afraid that it would drop from my suddenly shaking fingers. "How honest of you."

Armand finally looked at me. "To this war, yes, you are a pawn. But you know better. Duane's cheesy love notwithstanding, you know what I think personally? I think you're smart enough to face the inevitable. You have a free will. No matter what you choose, Duane will always back you." He lowered his voice. "However, if you take the side of the rebels..." A shrug. "You know they're not all candies and ice creams. And I'm a much nicer guy when I'm your friend."

I stumbled over the words 'friend' and 'nicer guy' a little. "He told me about the wolf pack."

Armand nodded. "If you have a single inch left of your memory about the things they did to you, we wouldn't be having this conversation now." He quirked half a smile. "They weren't a bunch of friendly doggies."

I stared after him as he went to collect our work to the teacher.

At lunch Ingrid asked us how our night had gone last night. Jamie pouted and harrumphed. She seemed in a really bad mood today. Nick hadn't come to pick us up this morning, and he wasn't anywhere to be seen either—I wondered if something had happened to them.

"Don't ask me," Jamie grumbled. "Ask her."

"Uh, it was...great!"

"Great for you and your new buddy." Jamie shot a dirty look at the cheerleaders' table. "Elena ditched me for Sylvie last night."

"It's not like that!" I said defensively.

Ingrid laughed. "Well, she surely thinks you're her new best friend."

I swung my head to where she was looking at. Sylvie waved at us with a huge smile and a wink at me. I flushed, thinking about the bodies of the Fae. It kind of made sense now—her extreme beauty. If I focused harder now, I could still see her real form. It was disconcerting, like seeing in double when you were drunk, except that the double had longer ears and—you know.

"I didn't ditch her. Sylvie helped me get home because I wasn't feeling so well."

Jamie looked away. "Whatever."

Time molded in a strange way, sand in hourglass, in a ticking clock, in a digital watch, in sweat and tips—before I knew it I was at the Ollie's, taking orders like it was no different days.

"Two burritos, one fish n' chips, one medium beef ribs, and two Alfredo fettuccines." I smiled. "Is that correct?"

The couple nodded.