Thank you, and I'm sorry.

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Where do I even begin? Honestly, I'm sure. There's just such a vast variety of things I could choose.

First, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for putting in more effort for me than anyone else has. Thank you for dealing with me. For listening to me these past 8 years. For calling me everyday during summer and leaving ridiculous voicemails for me because you knew I was bored out of my mind. Honestly, sometimes I wouldn't answer just because I wanted to find out what you come up with this time.
Thank you for listening to me rant about my mother and how upset I was with her over something 'insane!' You've always made me feel wanted. Sometimes you'll just ask me to rant to you because you want to know what's been going on. I don't know dude, that means way more than you would ever know.
Thank you for being there with me when I was upset over a petty break ups. Which, has led to plenty of inside jokes about my ex's. You never let camp 'boyfriend' die, even though that was over three years ago. But on your defense, he still messages me. So.
Thank you for not mentioning anything about my brother at youth group the day after I found out he died. It was game night that day, but all I wanted to do was just sit on the living room floor petting the youth leaders dogs. You tried so hard to make me laugh that day. You looked so drained that day. Thankfully you had my back when I told Christian I was just tired after he asked if something was wrong.
Thank you for letting me deal with my own problems when I needed to do it myself, and helping me through all the problems I have told you about.
Thank you for going along with the prank on Daniel. But I know you've always wanted to prank him, I just gave you the opportunity.
Thank you for just being there for me more than my family was for me. You are far more than just my best friend. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you. Yeah I know cheesy AF but oh well.

I cannot express how sorry I am for not being nearly as good of a friend to you, as you have been to me.
I mean I knew for years that you were moving. When you came back from Oregon on January 4th 2016, I was ecstatic to have you back. It has only been six months but it felt like an eternity. We spent as much time together as my mother would allow. Once I started college on the 11th, we still hung out every weekend, but I could have tried to spend more time with you. I could have spent all my free time with you, yet I didn't.
I will never forgive myself for telling myself "it's ok, you still have time" until there was only a month and a half left and I didn't know what to do with myself. I needed to be with you from then on because I wasn't ready to lose you yet. As the days dwindled away the more it set in that this was permanent. That once you left you were never coming back. You weren't just moving a few hours away, you moves two states away and nearly 1,200 miles from me. I would no longer be able to just drive three miles to house and be happy because I was with you.
When you told me your mom had moved the day that you were leaving to the 10th of July wanted to cry. It was only a few days less than what was originally planned;however, it meant less time to be with you.
Worst of all, I was too much of a chicken to tell you how much you meant to me before you left. I did tell you I missed you, but that's not the same. I never got to tell you how you've shaped me as a person. You've made me appreciate the little things in life. You made my happier than anyone ever has. I don't laugh as much now that you're gone.
I'm truly sorry I didn't spend all the time I could have with you in our last 6 months together.

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