Once upon a time. Once.What are the chances that once in the entire history of the world, he of all princes had to be the one turned into a frog? There was nothing cute about being a frog. Soft green bumps were slicked over with a protective slime-- God, he hoped that wasn't poisonous. Who would kiss a poison frog? Certainly not someone who could break the curse. He doubted if anyone would even pick him up, since, after all, frogs are notorious for peeing in your hand so much and unexpectedly that you have to wash up to your elbows, soap and water, just to be safe. Imagine what that would be like, from living in a castle with servants and freedom to do anything, to learning the hard way what natural selection.
He feared he was doomed to be a frog for all eternity, but at least the witch had offered one miniscule, dubious grain of hope.
Witch: There's one girl in the entire world, who–if you eat off her plate, drink from her cup, and sleep with–will break the curse.
Prince: How will I know who she is?
Witch: Yeah, you'll just know. Trust me.
But it's hard to trust the person who turns people into frogs for no apparent reason, so the Frog Prince was left to traverse the world in search of this one girl. His heart was heavy with fear and doubt. When he was a boy, his servant Henry used to take him on the weekly errands. Henry always went about his business, quickly and diligently, and the young prince often lost sight of him, getting so profoundly disoriented the employees would have to call over the PA system, "Lost child at checkout five, if a 'Henry' could come to checkout five." If he couldn't keep track of his own servant at the grocery, how was he supposed to find the girl to break the curse?
He was going to be a frog forever. He felt that he knew it for sure.
But life has it's odd happenstances, like the well he had been living in since he the curse just so happened to be the same well a lovely young lady dropped a golden ball into one gorgeous spring afternoon. She was terribly distraught about it, and wept and wept and wept like she would never be comforted. The prince watched her wail and sob, the height of the most dramatic ugly cry he'd ever had the misfortune of witnessing and noticed that even in this disconsolate state, she was beautiful. The frog prince, hesitant to talk to her because of her beauty and her grief, observed her compromised emotional state and formulated a negotiation. He was a prince, after all. He didn't know how to talk to girls, but by God could he negotiate.
Prince: So, uh... I see you're a little upset.
Princess: Yeah, to say the least.
Prince: Well, I could get the ball for you.
Princess: Oh, would you, would you?
Prince: Only if I can share dinner and a bed with you.
Princess: Well... I believe that sounds perfectly reasonable.
Prince: Promise?
Princess: Promise.
The prince was completely blown away by how willing and accepting she was, while the princess was secretly crossing her fingers.
He hopped down into the well with the mighty KER-SPLASH! He was the hero of his own story. So admirable, so altruistic, so kind--never mind the ulterior motive of returning to his normal form. She had to like him after this; he was gonna get a good meal, a nice sleep, and this beautiful girl all in one fell swoop. It was a win, win, win, and the lady would benefit, too. She'd get her pretty golden ball back, and have a night with him.
Once the ball was retrieved she took it from his mouth and ran home joyously, effectively jilting him. He called after her, to take him up in her hands with the ball, but his cries fell on deaf ears. She had broken her promise.
