What The Heart Craves (Complete)

Chapter 18 - Part 2

Lacey

A gentle knock on my door pulled my attention away from my thoughts.

"Come in."

"You okay?" Alex peered through the door.

Was I okay? Not really, but I'd made my bed, and it was time to lie in it. I nodded.

"You want to talk about it?" He stepped into my room, closing the door behind him.

This wasn't the brother that I was accustomed to.

"There's nothing to talk about it," I said with a shrug. I'd made my choice, and it had driven Adonis away. It was for the best.

"This have anything to do with Gray?" His eyes perceptive of every emotion on face.

Not sure if I should answer his question, I hesitated. I didn't know how my brother would react if I told him what had happened between Adonis and I. He'd always been protective of me, and Adonis was like a brother to him, I didn't want him to feel he had to choose.

"It's not his fault." I didn't blame Adonis for his reaction; in a way he had made it easier on me. It would have been more difficult to push him away if he had stood by my decision.

"What happened?" He sat down beside me on the bed.

"He can't understand why I'm delaying the surgery." I dropped my gaze to my hands. "He said he couldn't watch me do this."

My throat clogged up with emotion from the last sentence, and I swallowed hard. Alex sat down beside me to put an arm around me and hugged me.

"It can't be easy for him," he said.

I nodded in agreement. None of this was easy for anyone, but I would rather him hurt now then further down the line if I didn't survive the surgery. He would mourn the loss of something unfulfilled, but if we built memories and deepened our feeling, it would be so much worse.

There was no escape from the heavy emotions weighing my heart down. There wasn't time to deal with it. I had to ignore the pain. Time was ticking.

"I'll beat the crap out of him, if it'll make you feel better?" He had a serious look, which made me grin but shook my head. It was so typical of him, although it had never been his best friend on the receiving end of his fists.

"You'd really do that for me?" I was a little take aback. They were so close that I'd just assumed that given the choice, he'd pick Adonis' side.

He nodded.

"You're my sister," he said, like it went without saying. His serious features eased with a smile that tugged at his lips. "But it's probably a good thing you don't want me to because Adonis has a mean right hook."

It pulled me back to when Adonis had taken care of Evan. I smiled at my brother, glad he was trying to ease the heavy atmosphere with a joke.

That was one thing that happened when time was limited, the people in your life who loved you, took the time to show you. Most people were too busy with life and getting everyday tasks done to appreciate the little things like connecting with the people they cared about.

"Come, let's go find some ice cream," Alex said. Ice cream sounded great. It was just what I needed to soothe my breaking heart.

Half a tub later and I swear I was buzzing with sugar. Across from me, Alex sat with a spoon.

"How on earth could you eat that much?" He shook his head, putting his spoon down on the table. I'd eaten most of it.

I giggled. It was nice to spend time with my brother.

My phone rang, and I got it out of my pocket. The anticipation that it could be Adonis disappeared when I saw the Caller Id.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey you," Reece said. "Why have you been avoiding my calls?"

I closed my eyes, not sure if I had the energy for another heated discussion. She'd been the next one on my list to talk to.

"Can you come over?" I asked, needing to get it out of the way. The sooner I dealt with it, the better.

"Sure," she said before hanging up.

I stared down at my phone for a minute, not sure I had the emotional strength to face her.

"Reece coming over?" Alex asked. I nodded while I looked at him.

"I wonder how she is going to take it," I said, feeling the rising anxious growing.

"This whole situation isn't easy," he said.

I got up and put the ice cream back in the fridge.

"I'm going out." Alex stood.

"You going to see Gray?" I asked. I don't know why I needed to know as knowing what he was doing and with who was only going to be harder for me to deal.

He studied me for a moment before he nodded his head. "He's a mess," he admitted me, which only made me feel worse.

My illness had robbed of us of a potential future. It was no one's fault.

I'd loved him for a big part of my life and most of it had been from a distance, but discovering how he felt about me made it more difficult. Every time I felt my heart ache, I reminded myself I was doing the best thing for him.

No matter what happened from this moment on, at least I'd been with him for one time and that meant everything to me.

"I'll see you later," he said before he left.

I sat down in the kitchen and waited for Reece to arrive.

When the doorbell went, I went to open it.

"You better have a good explanation for avoiding me." Reece crossed her arms.

I led the way to the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

"No," she said, observing me. She'd been my friend for such a long time, she knew immediately that whatever I was going to tell her she would not like.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I sighed. It was now or never. "I'm delaying the surgery." I wasn't sure there was no point in trying to soften the blow.

There were a few moments of silence.

"Why? Is that what the surgeon suggested?" she asked with a confused look. "I thought he'd do the surgery as soon as possible."

Feeling anxious, I leaned against the kitchen counter and gripped it.

"I don't want to have the surgery straight away," I said and waited for her response.

"Why?" She took a step closer.

"I'm scared I won't make it through the surgery." I felt teary eyed again.

Her eyes softened, and she reached out a hand to my arm.

"The surgeon explained that any delay would impact on my odds of surviving," I explained, studying her while she absorbed what I said.

"I know you're scared, but you have to have the surgery," she told me softly, handling my fragility better than anyone else had.

"The odds are against me, and I want some time with the people I love. It's not like I'm asking for another six months. All I want is a couple of weeks."

She gave me a sympathetic look as she pulled me into a hug, and I returned her embrace.

After a minute or two, she pulled away. "The people who love you want you to have the surgery with the best possible odds. You're scared, but we are all here for you."

I'd hoped that she'd understand, but I could see that would not happen. I had my family on my side and Reece was on the same side as Adonis. It was going to be so much harder.