To Be Continued

I Won't Back Down

"Even when I fall down, I might stay down.
'Cause if I stay down no one can kick me back down again."

"Damn it, no service." I mumbled to myself as I fumbled with my phone. My boyfriend had just dumped me, and this is how my phone reacts? "Damn it!" I shouted while throwing my phone down on my bed. I guess all he needed was a play toy to help him get through life and then move on to the next one.

I tiredly sat down on my bed with my hands covering my face and my messy baby hairs that where sticking out. Why couldn't I just have one regular boyfriend for once? Don't take it the wrong way, im not a slut. I guess I just thought that I was a brave emotionless warrior who could just get over the first one, and try to heal myself with another one. Which I am not afraid to admit, it is my fault for getting myself stuck with boys like crazy glue. Im just happy that I could at least understand my own wrongs, unlike some girls out there in the world.

I just don't understand. What happened to the strong, and bold person I was. When did the walls to my inner life become so thin? To others, my walls still look as thick as can be, but inside I keep getting trapped with boys that somehow steal my heart within a second, what is wrong with me?

I need to take a walk, I need to make my mind more clear about this situation, and I need to stop handing over my trust like a piece of candy.
I get up and put on my jacket, and head outside.

As im walking down the street, I notice a particular man that stood out to me. No, I wasn't attracted to another man already, its just that the town that I live in is pretty small, so the news about a new person would have came quickly. But I have never seen him around. Maybe he just moved in today?
The man had short brown hair with hazel eyes that could have enchanted many other women he also had some freckles that reminded me of constellations that was sprinkled across his cheeks and up to the bridge of his nose.
I must have been staring for too long, because I noticed he was looking at me with a confused state. Shit! What is wrong with me? Staring off into space like that?

I continued going on my walk with some music playing till I ended up near the community park.

"I could use a seat..." I said to myself while taking a seat on the swing, and rocking slowly back and forth. I couldn't help but notice the same guy from earlier was here at the park as well.

Wasn't he near the bus stop before? How did he get here so fast?

I shook my head, I just have a foggy mind, who cares how he came here? I certainly don't. I then got up and walked back to my house, I just really wasn't in the mood right now.
________________________________***_________________________________

It was the next day and I still feel like a pile of horse shit. Yes, including the flies surrounding it. Maybe I need another walk? Yeah, it seemed to work a little bit last time, im sure it'll work this time! I quickly get ready for the day and headed outside for yet another walk to clear my mind.

As I began to walk around, I still saw the freckled faced guy.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Seriously, what the fuck? I just don't think im getting it, maybe he isn't new? Wait, is he a tourist? Fuck tourists.

Ugh, whatever just keep walking, walking will help you calm the fuck down, you got this Amara.

I kept walking till I realised that it was turning dark outside.