shattered//phan

two.

fuck. 

i mumbled and looked at all clothes scattered on my bed. light pastel pinks, blues and purples covered my covers along with white converse. was he taking me somewhere nice? fancy? i sighed and decided on a lilac jumper with black jeans and pastel purple vans. i went to the bathroom and fixed my fringe to it's normal style, while also managing to brush my teeth. it was almost 18:00, and that's when phil was going to pick me up. i looked at myself in the mirror as i put the pale purple flower crown on my head. "it'll be okay." i mumbled, letting out a small sigh. "nothing can go wrong." i heard a knock on my door and rushed out of the bathroom. i grabbed my phone and my wallet, and the plastic bag sitting on the table. i opened to see phil smiling, a bouquet of light pink stained roses. "hey." he spoke with a smile. "hey." he handed me the flowers. "i got these for you." i felt my skin flush and i tried to bite back a smile. "thank you." i accepted the flowers on put them on the table next to the door. i handed him the plastic bag. "here's your sweatpants. thank you again." he laughed. "keep them. i hope they remind you of me." i dropped them to the floor. "thank you." i was just staring into his ocean blue eyes, god damn, you could go swimming in those eyes. he must of been kind of scared by my endless stare as he let out a fake laugh. "so i guess i'll take you out now." i zoned back in and nodded. "you're gorgeous." fuck. i didn't mean to say that. i must have turned 50 shades of pink as i mentally killed myself. "oh my god i am so so so sorry i didn't mean to say that wait actually i did you are gorgeous i said it again i am so sorry-" he smiled. "stop being so damn cute. you are so fucking beautiful." beautiful. One word i've never been called before. i felt my face flush harder. "where are we going?" i asked, trying to change the subject. "you'll have to follow me." i noticed he had a tattoo on his wrist. 14.1.04. january 14, 2004. did i want to ask? before i locked the door, i let my mouth get a hold of me. "hey, what does that date mean?" he looked at his wrist. "it's the date my mom died. cancer." i frowned. "i'm sorry." he sighed. "hey, it's good she's in a better place now." i gave him a sad smile as he started to walk over to the stairs as i swooned. his figure was so stunning, tall and protective.suddenly, i felt someone tap on my shoulder. i turned around to see man about 6'2, towering over my 5'3 body. "yo, mike! that's the fag i was talking about!" i looked down the other hallway to see tessa standing there was a smug on her face. "get him." i looked at her. "excuse me?" i asked as she laughed. "yeah, you fucking gaylord. you deserve it." i crinkled my nose and punched the tall man's stomach. it was obviously ineffective and i could already taste his fist in my mouth. but he was stopped. "hey, what the fuck are you two doing?" i saw phil running down the hallway. "leave him alone." he growled, standing in front of the tall blond, or so called mike. "who the fuck are you? his fuck buddy?" tessa snorted as phil rolled his eyes. "get him too, mike." tessa snarled as phil swung at punch at the other man. phil grabbed my arm and led me down the hall. "goodbye!" he spat, as we reached the staircase. "i'm sorry." i mumbled, as phil shook he head. "don't be. do you like pizza?" i smiled. "who doesn't?" we reached the bottom of the staircase and the cold city air hit my skin. and all i had was a jumper. it was still light out, the blue sky turning into a purple. he led me to a old convertible sitting on the curb. he opened the door for me as i got in. the back seat was covered in sheet music, notebooks and a guitar, with a ukulele on the floor. "you like music too?" he nodded with a laugh. "yeah, but mainly i'm in the middle of writing a book." he started up the car and i smiled at him again. "what is the plot of it?" i asked as he turned the corner and started to go down the block. "well, it's about a boy, young and lost in the world. he doesn't know what do until he meets another boy with soft brown eyes. he instantly falls in love but continues to question his sexuality. but then he notices that brown eyes is for him and they live happily ever after." he looked out the window as i thought to myself. who is he talking about? The remainder of the ride was silent, twenty one pilots slowly through the speakers. he pulled into a spot in front of a small pizza place. it looked empty. "well, are you coming in?" he asked as i nodded. "hey, i was kidding. you don't want to come in if you don't want to." i let out a shaky laugh. "i will." i stepped out of the car and followed phil. pretty fancy first date, huh?  i thought to myself, obvious sarcasm showing. "hey, louie!" phil yelled as a small man came from the back. "hello, philly! i haven't seen you since forever!" he came over and hugged phil. it was pretty funny as the man was about as tall as me, maybe shorter, and hugged the lanky man. he looked over at me and i gave him a small smile. "who is this handsome young man?" he asked as i blushed. "hello. i'm dan." he looked at phil. "my date." louie smiled. "oh, for the order you called in! a large pie, a large coke and a order of fries. it's on me." phil rolled his eyes. "louie i'll pay. i insist. for my date." phil turned around and looked at me. louie smiled. "okay." i blushed. "i can pay too, if you want." phil laughed. "no no no i got it, love." i held back a smile as took the food off the counter. "keep the change, lou. have a nice night." louie smiled. "you too, phil! enjoy your date!" i waved at him and we walked out the door. "you know him?" phil laughed. "he was a friend of my mom's." i got into the car. "that's sweet." he smiled. "he's very nice." he pulled out of the spot and i tried to collect my thoughts. a. we don't go to sit in restaurants . b. i have no clue where he's taking me next c. i don't even really know him. i sighed. it was gonna be okay. "i'm gonna take you somewhere so we can eat. but if you're hungry now, you can start eating." i shook my head. "i can wait." i looked out the window as i saw the buildings fade and fields begin to open, slowly becoming wider. the sky was starting to fade into a light blue and a pink. he parked the car in front of an open field as i looked around. we were in the middle of nowhere. what if he kills me? he grabbed his food and the ukulele and looked at me. "are you ready?" i nodded. the field was so quiet. so relaxing. "i come here a lot." phil spoke, voice soft. "when i'm stressed. it helps me clear my mind. i thought you would need it. even if you have class tomorrow. he walked me over to a spot on a top of the hill, a blanket already there. he sat down the food and looked around. the sky was extraordinary. it's blue horizon was covered in light pink clouds, sort of like cotton candy. phil handed me a plate with the pizza on it. "i'm sorry that we aren't in like a sit in place. i just thought you might like it here." i smiled. "i love it." we watched the sun slowly set. a cold front blew through and i remembered my current state of clothing. phil must have saw me shiver as he put down his food and took off his leather jacket. he handed it to me. "you look like you need this." i shook my head. "i can't take your jacket." he smiled. "well, you are." i finally decided to put it on. it smelled amazing, a mix of cinnamon and gingerbread. he put all the trash in the box and i saw him start to strum on the ukulele. "what kind of music do you like?" he asked as i shrugged. "alternative. panic!, twenty one pilots, fall out boy." he smiled. "me too. everyone is like "oh you like wear all black, so you like andy biersack and pierce the veil, but no one ever gets to know me." he started playing a familiar tune. 

"wise men say, 

only fools rush in,

but i can't help

falling in love

with you."

i looked back into his ocean eyes again. his voice was soft like caramel, but rough like sand paper. it was calming and very pleasing. it made me fall in love more.

"take my hand,

take my whole life too."

i gave him a soft smile and fixed my flower crown into a new position. i never sing. i don't really think i can but i sometimes pray that all those extra drama courses in high school would work for this one and only moment. 

"if i can't help

falling in love 

with you."