The "Real" College Experience

Prologue

*Disclaimer; Ok so to anyone reading this(I don't know if anyone will, I'm not sure how interesting my life story is...) Firstly I am always open to suggestions and such, please let me know what you would like to know more about, etc... This is difficult to write because I need to find a certain amount of prologue and detail to insert to help you understand where the main character is coming from, but I don't want to ramble too much. Secondly I would like to state I have nothing against anyone who is African American, or anyone who is special needs, etc... you will understand why I have to say this later on. Anyway to anyone who is still reading, this is a very tightly based on a true story version of my college story*

Seventh Grade:

As I watched the clock tick closer to six pm my heart beat began to quicken, mom and dad had taken me to so many therapists in a short amount of time that I have just lost track. If they did not believe I was making progress they would blame it on the therapist, and then move me to another one. But truly I didn't see anything wrong with me, every new teenager gets suicidal and depressed. So what if I always kept a wall up? I loved my wall, that wall always kept me safe from getting hurt, there was no point in letting anyone in, even mom and dad; they would just hurt me in the long run. They all did. That's why therapy is so hard, how is someone supposed to help me if I don't want to let them in? I mean come on, I'm normal enough, mom and dad don't even know about the slashes on the wrist and the anguished nights of crying myself to sleep wishing it all would end.

Her name was Debbie, yet another name I would one day forget. I drove with dad, being that it was his custody time with us. Mom met us at the appointment, she looked frazzled in her pantsuit with her shoulder brunette curls falling just longer than her shoulders. My mother had never liked my father, I wasn't really sure why, my father seemed like such a nice man, I knew he could get angry at points but who doesn't? I know I sure could get angry with my mother, it seemed as though we could never get along no matter how hard I tried to get her to just accept and love me. Mainly we fought about my weight or my father. Yes I knew being 11 and weighing over two-hundred pounds was a problem, however it just seemed like an impossible task to change it.

When we fought about my father it was always the same old story, she loathed the man. She would tell me stories of him physically abusing me, and scaring her with threats of abuse; I'm ashamed to say I actually believed her for the longest time, but I was young and looked up to my mother.

Debbie was a short larger woman, with amber hair which barely covered her ears. I do not know what it was about her but just after a short conversation I began to trust her, and the world did not seem as bleak, perhaps she was the one therapist who would be able to cure me.

The Summer Before College:

It was July, I was single, and the happiest I had ever been. I hadn't thought of death in months, and my mind no longer strayed to negative comments on myself, only to uplifting myself and making Shannon smile. I needed to focus on myself and my education. Since I was newly free from therapy as we had found there as nothing more I could work on.

Part of my new lease on life was due to my mother, during my summer before my sophomore year of high school we had started a huge screaming battle, she had then told me that she no longer loved me and was kicking me out of her home. She proceeded to call my father on her landline and demand that he either pay for my military school or he could take me in because she could no longer stand me. I did not understand it back then, but now looking back on it today and knowing she is suffering in denial of mental illness I can see why she did it, I however still have not forgave her, but do keep in contact for my fathers sake. He believes that it is better for her mental health if she believes her daughter still loves her, which I do see his point.

But I do have to thank her for it, because moving in with my father was the best decision I have thus far made in my life. He put me on the right path in life, made sure I got a job, went to school and got good grades, and for doing those things he took me on vacations, provided me with a car, credit card and such. I had since dropped my weight to 180 pounds and was exercising and eating healthy. Without him pushing me I would not have been able to get into Central Michigan University.

I was relieved, finally I was a normal, happy, healthy teenage girl, who would soon be attending Central Michigan University for biochemistry in the fall. I could not be more ecstatic about heading off to college, everyone had told me about the life changing experiences I would have there, how it would change my views on the world and shape how I now see myself and society. And man they were correct, but in the worst way possible.

*** Well I hope you guys enjoyed the prologue, sorry if its kinda boring but I promise the story will get better. Let me know what you think!