Si vis amari, ama.
If you wish to be loved, love.
Simple and sweet. But is that a reliable phrase? Can loving others guarantee love in return?
I often wonder what it would be like to be loved. For someone to look at me with shining eyes; for someone to tell me they loved me; for someone to care not for just my body, but for me.
But then I become scared. Why would anyone love me? I can rarely remember long periods of time in which I could honestly say I loved myself, so how could I expect another to feel what I can't?
Fear impedes on my life. It lurks in the corner, and as I pass it lunges at me. It keeps me in its clutches, and as soon as I begin to build myself back up again, it tears me apart.
I fear failure.
I fear disappointment.
I fear that I am living my life so utterly consumed by unimportant entities.
How can I be happy?
How can I be loved?
How can I wake up and not feel so helplessly crippled with anxiety and fear?
I hold onto the negative. I wrap my arms around the darkness that passes by, and I drag it into myself. I have let darkness and negativity consume me, time and time again. I refuse to allow myself to greet happiness when it arrives.
Instead, I slam the door shut in its face.
But perhaps happiness isn't as hard to obtain as I think it is.
Perhaps it is quietly waiting for me on a park bench; hoping that one day I choose to not push it away, but to embrace it.
If you wish to be loved, love.
If this is reliable, and there's no telling if it is, it is time I started loving.
Loving others.
Loving life.
Loving myself.
YOU ARE READING
Late Night Thoughts
RandomWriting is nothing but a form of art; art is the expression of one's soul. Here are some thoughts that keep me up at night. This is more or less a diary for me, and whether you find it ridiculous or inspiring, I hope you find something worthwhile ab...
