Torn Apart

Dreams From a Realist

I sat at the table, Poe next to me and another Fighter to my other side. I inhaled the biscuit, it being my first food in a few days, and picked up another one from someone else's tray. Passersby clapped me on the back, congratulating me on another successful mission. I nodded in acknowledgment and continued to gulp down food. 

"Kayrin, slow down. You're gonna choke," Poe scolded. I shot a glare at him and swallowed my food.

"You're gonna reach over here and take it from me," I asked, light anger burning in my eyes. 

My vision flashed between that place and the sight of him, ripping and going through all my memories. I felt a scream caught in my throat and bubbled to my vocal cords. I shrieked in agony and I wriggled in the entrapment. I felt a light let-up in the pain, and then it was gone fully. I gasped in heavy, labored breaths, terrified that pain will flow over me once more. Black dots lined my eyes, fading out in the center of my vision where he stood. I huffed out and spoke with as much bravado as I could muster. 

¨You frighten only the weak. And the only weak ones in this galaxy,¨ I took in another breath. ¨is the First Order, and you at the crown of the helm, leading them to a inevitable defeat," I hissed. He twitched in anger and circled my restraints, pulling close to my side. 

"You know I can take whatever I want," he whispered slyly in my ear. His gloved hand caressed my cheek and I flinched away. A thought struck me. Never get to close to a woman whose hard headed. You'll find out the hard way. I reared my head back, and brought it to his. I screamed in pain as he staggered backwards, clutching his head. He breathed heavily through gritted teeth. I smiled and laughed.

"Good luck trying, bastard."

He grunted and stormed out of the room. I had won that battle. I laid my pounding head back and felt the darkness tugging at my fingertips. I huffed a cry of help as I began my descent to slumber.

"Poe... Help."

I laughed after he did and I kept eating. A presence loomed behind me and I turned to face whoever it was. As I turned, the lunchroom faded away into black and I was faced with my captor. He pulled his lightsaber that burned a furious red and gave it a twirl of professional swordsmanship. I stumbled back and fell to the ground, my seat disappearing from under me, rocking stabbing into my skin, clawing away from him. 

"Please no. Please," I begged as he stepped closer. I kicked myself away but with each foot I gained distance from him, he closed in by two feet.Finally, he was right on top of me. I gasped as he raised the weapon above his head and bring it down upon me. As the saber descended upon my body, the wobbly sensation of falling washed over me and I blinked, and I was no longer on rocky ground.  I looked around and found myself on a bed. I was home. Back on the Resistance base. I gasped a sigh of relief and dashed out of the cot, and to my door. I whipped it open, expecting to see the doors of other rooms but saw the room I was trapped in. The lights glowing faint blue and red and the horrid chair contraption I was in sat in the middle of it. I walked around and saw it empty. A force pulled me into it, the restraints locking tightly around my wrists and ankles. A feeling of exhaustion washed over me, but I remained alert. From behind the chair from where I entered, he walked to me. He stood next to me as he did before when I headbutted him. I watched in horror as he said those words that still shook me.

"You know I can take whatever I want."  His hand caressed my face just as he did before. Was this a replay?

I was prepared and ramping myself up to hit him again, but when I went to hit him, I didn't. I laid there, frozen in fear. My body couldn't move. Then, something that scared me far worse than his chilling voice occurred. I imagined I was no longer myself. I was strong and clever, and she wasn't. She was a scared little girl who doesn't know when someone needs a good headbutt. I wasn't her. I wasn't her. He leaned in closer and closer to my face. Kylo's glove gripped my face tightly, holding me still. His lips brushed hers and then firmly planted a kiss on them. The tangibleness of his lips were to strong to deny. I was the girl in the chair the monster was kissing. His tongue begged no entrance but instead just kissed me. He pulled away, but came in for another kiss, and another, and another, and another. I cringed mentally but I couldn't shy away. Finally, there is an end to the madness. He pulls away and steps back. I watched as the scene fade to black.

The bleariness of my eyes went away as I blinked repeatedly, the world coming back into focus. He was there. In front of me. Watching as I came back to consciousness. He'd hadn't only done that. He was in my thoughts. He saw everything. He manipulated it. He did that on purpose. 

"You didn't fight. You did nothing," he chuckled. I winced as he hissed his nothing. I let him. He manipulated the dream but he didn't manipulate me. I was in control of my body. I'm the reason he kissed me freely. I didn't fight. How dare he? He pressed the same lips that spoke the commands that killed my people and thousands of others onto mine. I had never felt more disgusted and low at that point.  How dare he?! 

"You sick, twisted monster." I gutted out of myself.  He grinned a devilish grin and anger bubbled to my surface. "You are nothing without your power! You think you must be a god all because of the Force is in you?! You are nothing more than Princess Leia and Han Solo's spoiled brat," I screamed. That was wrong. That was wrong. That was WRONG! He took a solemn step closer and leaned in to me. 

"You are just an agent, and without that, all you really are, is my prisoner."

A/N 

Fam, it's getting lit! HIT THAT VOTE BUTTON IN THE FACE LIKE  A BOSS! (Jacksepticeye tho.)