POISE//AMBW

3.

Chirping was heard coming through the window as tapping came from one of the many tree branches. The wind whistled and howled making the wind bells jingle, waving about. It was a wonderful day, the Sun was not shy, coming out to shine brilliantly upon those that walked outside. It was morning, and I did not have to work, relaxing from my grueling labors.

I went into the art room, going to check up on Hanuel who seemed to be up playing in his crib. I lifted him up as he gave me a toothless, wide smile and strode into the kitchen. The large baby began to make blaring incomprehensible noises, flailing about. Everyday, he seemed to look more and more like his mother, his eyes a light brown and his skin a golden brown.

"Look here, Hanuel, you're going to have to be quiet alright? Mommy's sleeping." I ushered the boy watching him as he kicked his legs in his chair. He began howling and his eyes began to tear up, his chunky cheeks turning a deep crimson which blended in with his skin. "Why are you crying, Hani?" I put some ingredients on the counter before coming to his rescue. "You must be hungry." I quickly opened the refridgerator and got some milk. Hanuel stopped crying and looked at me expectantly; for someone so young, he knew how to get what he wanted. After the warm water ran and the bottle of milk sat for a while, I gently placed the bottle between his lubricated pink lips. "Are you better now?" Hanuel stopped drinking, pausing to give me a pleased smile.

"Is it good?" I questioned him, combining two ingredients into a bowl. Hanuel watched me with eager eyes, so I decided to share my cause of uneasiness with him. "Look here, son. I'm going to need you to grow up and become mighty strong. That way when I'm gone, you can take care of your mother. I'm afraid I won't be here all the time, as much as I hate it, but promise me this," I stopped what I was doing and looked into his curious eyes," you won't grow up too fast without your old man." Hanuel laughed at the request, making the bottle fly towards the ground. I scoffed," Such a messy boy."

But I loved him. I loved him more than he would ever be able to comprehend, wanting to cherish these small moments I would have with him before he got too old. I would go through murderous things to be able to give him and his mother everything they wanted a million times over and over again. He would never understand, but he will grow up and he will continue to grow. I just hope he will be something of greatness, that's all I ask.

"I'm going to need you to be strong okay. Help your mother out when she needs it. Don't wait for her to ask you when you see that she's struggling, because half of the time, she won't say that she needs it. She'll wave you off and say that she's got it, but she really doesn't, okay. I'm going to need you to be the best you can be in school. School is important, you know." I poured the pancake mix into the pan. Hanuel looked on expectantly, waiting for me to continue with my speech.

"Are you listening, Hanuel? I'm going to need you to ask for help when you don't understand your multiplication tables. I need you to help that old lady that's walking down the road that has trouble getting up the small stairs. I need you to be a great citizen for me, because you never know when it's your last day. Son, I don't know when my last day will be. I need you to do what's right for me, but most importantly for yourself. You never know when your last moments will be." I stopped completely and gazed into his eyes. Hanuel stopped playing with his pacifier and looked at me as well, locking eyes. Deep down, I knew he understood. His eyes gave off an 'I already know, dad' look and I couldn't help but chuckle to loosen up the thick air.

But the thick air came from the stove.

I hurriedly rescued the now burnt pancakes and sighed heavily. I could never wake up early enough to fix my wife a perfect breakfast. Regardless of my enumerous attempts, I could never make something simple. It irritated me. I depended on her so much and it made me feel weak like a little fawn without its mother to show them the way of life. Of course, she was not my mother, but I needed her more than I originally thought I had. She was my left arm, the arm on which I lean upon when my dominant side is exhausted and cannot withstand the ongoing trials anymore.

She was the one I needed and sometimes took for granted. The one that gave birth to a wild spirit. The one I married in hopes of keeping her forever, feeding my selfish demons I try to suppress. Everyone has a demon, some more than others, but Nala... Nala was an angel. There was no way she could possess such a thing.

But even the Devil was once an angel. A fallen angel who's dreams turned awry and had no one to pray for him. How come no one prays for his unutterable sins and wrongdoings in hopes of helping him? Even the most sinful person needs help. Help to change their conspicuous ways in hope of finding righteousness along the paved path that they have walked away from.

I was disturbed by my peaceful thoughts by a sound of a throat clearing and soft pattering on the wooden floor. My eyes slowly made it's way up to see a curvy goddess that had just been awoken. Her tank top clung to her breasts and adnomen and her sweatpants hung loosely from her hip bones. I could not see her jet black luscious locks as much as I wanted to---she wore a headscarf every night to sleep.

"Good morning everyone," she uttered tiredly, kissing Hanuel softly on his forehead. She then came to me and I tensed up as she came closer to my face before planting a quick peck on my lips. Sometimes, I forgot my own strength, wanting to lean her over and take off her---

"I smelled something burning so I got up. What'd you destroy this time?" Nala interrogated, slamming my thoughts against a wall like a nerd getting thrown about by a bully. " I was trying to make pancakes, but...it didn't come out right." Hanuel chipped in by making bubblering sounds almost as if he was agreeing with my statement. "Interesting," she sung, showing all of her white teeth," would you like for me to take over now? Or do you want to try again?"

Nala was leaning across the table waiting patiently for my reply. I didn't want her to have to do anything today so I decided to try once more, expecting myself to prevail at least one time in my life. But my high expectations were not met and Hanuel laughed at me which created a scowl on my face.

The dark skinned woman patted my back in satisfaction from my attempt. "You'll get it next time." I looked into her promising eyes, slowly pulling her tightly to my chest. I leaned towards Nala, going to give her a long passion-filled kiss, but Hanuel interrupted us by screaming and pitching a fit.

We both turned to see what the matter was, only to find him smiling at us, knowing exactly what he did.

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