truce » poetry

someone else

what is it that everyone else has that i don't?
whoever made me forgot to add
the one thing that would make me matter
and i'm surrounded by others who have it
and it's so close i can taste the
blood on my teeth
because i'm gnawing my lips
and it's so close but i
can't
have
it
i would destroy myself just for a moment
a shining moment
of enlightenment
maybe i could figure out what i've been doing wrong
but i'm already destroyed
and i have nothing to give
nothing of worth
because to give something of worth
means to have something of worth
and i?
i am worthless
i have nothing but the pieces
i can't even pick up because
they are all burning, burning
lighting the dark place inside
my mind
just enough
to throw shadows over
the shadows themselves
and why can't i find the light switch?
why has everyone else?
why don't i have it?
whydontihaveit
it's so dark in here
i am trapped and
it's my
own
fault like everything else
and if i can just pretend
maybe i can fool myself
into becoming someone
else
maybe i can have the glimmer of
light that occurs
when you squint your eyes
and maybe if i squint
enough i'll turn into someone else
and i'll be happy.