standing in the doorway framed in darkness and i dont know how i feel.
you take your doomsday scenarios and throw them at me and they paint my eyes in red so i see the world drenched in blood and my heartbeat is high and loud in my ears like the drone of a mosquito. and you wonder why im so messed up.
when are you going to stop youre never going to and im grateful for the dark and the rain because they cover up the tiny splintering sound as i start to cry. but youre backlit by the glow of the alarm clock out of sight from the doorway and i can see your figure and its more familiar to me than my own and i have seen it all my life but it looks twisted and im so scared.
and youre saying all this because youre worried about me but i dont think love is supposed to make you cry on the threshold of your room and your life and i dont think love is supposed to be such a dubious monster. why are you angryatmeimsorry i didnt mean
i didntmeanfor this to happen
imsorryitakeitback never mind nevermindnever mind
and now im laying in bed but its been an eternity in twenty minutes and im sobbing so loud but no one makes a sound, not after you used it all up to make me so scared. and my nose is dripping snot and tears but i have to be quiet so i cant get a tissue.
it wasnt supposed to be a big deal but i forgot who i was talking to ofcourseitwasabigdeal itsalwaysabigdeal i shouldveknownbut i neverthink bigdeal—
it wasnt supposed to be a big deal but i forgot who i was talking to.
YOU ARE READING
truce » poetry
Poetry❝as if.❞ ⤷in which this isn't poetry but leftover sadness. [poetry] {completed} (#135 in poetry 12/27/17)
