Destined To Kill

CHAPTER 6

The thing about sudden unexpected death is that even when the death itself doesn't harm you, the shock kills you. You have a decent life, full of expected normal things. Then suddenly you find yourself in a black hole from which you can never get out. No escape, no respite, only the sense of helplessness and complete dread.

To say Ryan's death was a dreadful event is an understatement. In fact there is no way for me to explain the pain. The tears never seemed to drain, the void never filled, dreams never fading, guilt everlasting. Altogether an emotional wreck.

I got through the funeral. I hear the exact same words I heard when my parents died by the exact same person. I felt the exact same dread except no one is there to share it with. No brother beside me for me to hug and cry. Myra was in her own void. She only talked to me once saying me it isn't my fault. That I tried to stop it. But if I really tried hard this wouldn't have happened.

The only thing worse than his death is that Ben, and his friends got away with it. Apparently they were not even there. They left the club and went straight home. Even when Gared gave a full statement denying it they didn't have enough proof.

"We're sorry for your loss Samaira," Ben said when we met after they had been interrogated and "proved" innocent.

But I know what happened. Ben's father is a bigshot lawyer. He must have got his son out of this crime. Even thinking about it made me want to go and beat Ben and his minions to death. I even tried it right outside the police station. But Myra pulled me back saying something about troubles I made. She didn't believe me when I said about Ben. She said it was Ryan who got wasted and drove and hence ended up driving right into the bus.

David, on the course of this two weeks, turned from a cute club owner into a complete pest. He turned up in the funeral and kept bugging me about his guilt feeling even though I kept telling him to leave me alone.

"I should have left you," He said.

"And nothing would have changed," I reasoned out.

"I'm guilty."

"No you're not."

And on and on this conversation continued until I told him to shut up and walked away. He still didn't stop. He said he wanted to speak to me alone. I didn't want it. But I can't hear more of his whining so I agreed. I asked him to come to my house. Myra was out to pay the caterer so it was free.

He came sharply at 4. I had just then came out of the bed. For these two weeks my bed was my only company. At least the pillows understood my tears.

I was startled when he rang the doorbell. I quickly got out of my bed. I know I look as ugly as ever but it didn't bother me.

I hurried out and opened the door. He stood there wearing a casual t shirt and jeans. Normally I would have drooled over men like him but the circumstances are different.

"Come in," I said opening the door wide. He entered with a grim expression. I closed the door behind him. I directed him towards my room. He sat on the chair while I sat on my bed.

"So what is the important thing you want to talk about," I asked.

"I have talked about my guilty conscience right?" He asked.

"Only a thousand times," I said stifling a yawn. I hadn't slept yesterday and I'm really tired.

He made a face. "I'm here to make an offer."

"What sort offer."

He took a deep breath."Well I have you have entitled to know a small thing about me. I'm not just a club owner. I do many other illegal things."

"I'm intrigued" I said leaning forward.

"Like drugs. And.." he paused dramatically. "I was an assassin."

I took a sudden sharp breath."What?" I asked even though I heard him quiet clearly.

"See that was before. I was a teenager then. It was done just for money," He hurriedly said.

My panic doubled. Am assassin at his teenage. That's something you don't hear everyday. "Are you kidding me?" I asked.

"No," He said lifting his shirt on the side revealing a gun. A real gun. "I carry this for safety and I kinda like this."

Now I totally believe him. The only other possibility is that I'm hallucinating which is highly probable. "You're telling me this now because... "

"Because my offer is that I will kill someone for you," He said calmly.

"What?" Now I must definitely be having a hearing problem.

"I said I will kill a person whom you wanted dead. Anyone. There's got to be someone you want dead. The one's who killed your brother," He said looking straight into my eyes.

"But bu-but" I stammered.

"Think about it," He said getting up. "And can I believe that you wont tell anyone about what I said today?"

I nodded. The last thing I want is to involve in any other problem with the police. The underage drinking thing itself got pretty serious.

"Good," He said smiling lightly at me. He left my room. I heard the front door close but I didn't move.

My mind raced. First I needed about an hour to process what he just said. Then I have to overcome my skepticism. But I don't think he is lying. A club owner, drug dealer, an assassin why not?

Then came the wondering. Whether I should take up his offer or not. I really want to. I would love to kill Ben. But still it didn't seem right. And so is what they did to Ryan.

I was thinking and thinking even after Myra came, even while eating dinner and while lying on the bed. It's pretty late now. But I don't think I can sleep. My mind is racing so fast that I forgot all my tiredness.

But still I can't make up my mind. The correct moral thing to do is not to do it. But again what else happened in my life morally.

My suspicion grew too. You don't see many assassins wandering around offering people to kill for free. It was bizarre and unbelievable.

I got up and walked around the room slowly. Then I made up my mind. I picked up my phone and dialed his number.